Page 22 of Love, Accidentally

Using your phone while on shift, Doctor? I’m sure the good consultant will have plenty to say about that if she catches you. Suspect the rugby player is not the only one playing Russian Roulette xx

His reply is instant.

Dr Patel loves me nearly as much as she loves you now. She’s a pussycat when you get to know her xx

She might be a pussycat, but she still has sharp claws! Suggest caution. Are you still OK for tomorrow PM? xx

Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away. Counting the hours till I see you xx

I smile. OK, so our situation isn’t ideal, but it’s still pretty bloody good. It’s a positive sign that he cares enough about his mum to do everything he does for her; plenty of children would just bundle their parents off into a home at the first sign of trouble. Yes, I could do a lot worse than Dr Luke Milne, I tell myself happily as I let myself into the front door and head for the stairs up to the flat.

10

‘What are you thinking about?’ Luke asks softly. We’re lying naked on my bed and he’s lazily running his hand across my stomach, just above the bikini line. Normally, this would have me squirming with pleasure, even post-sex as we are now, but today I’m finding it slightly irritating. The truth is that, although I’m trying very hard to live in the moment, Tash’s words have been haunting me.

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ I tell him. ‘Just stuff, I guess.’

‘Work stuff or personal stuff?’

‘Personal stuff. You know I don’t bring work home. That’s a sure-fire ticket to madness.’

‘Do you want to share?’ He stops stroking me and rolls onto his side, fixing his eyes on mine. Normally I’d wilt under the intensity of his stare, but the moment is slightly ruined by the way his penis flops to the side as he turns. I can’t take him seriously when he’s waving his willy at me like that.

‘No, I don’t think so,’ I tell him, letting my head fall back onto the pillow and closing my eyes to indicate that the subject is closed. The issue is him, but I can’t find a tactful way to say that.

‘Sure? I’m a good listener. A problem shared and all that,’ he persists.

I keep my eyes closed, but I know he’s still staring at me.

‘Just let it go, Luke,’ I tell him, surprising myself with the tetchiness in my voice.

‘OK, OK. Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I’ll go and have a shower, shall I?’ His tone is suddenly tetchy too. Great. I’ve managed to upset him anyway. I can feel the mattress move as he starts to lift himself off the bed.

‘Fine,’ I say with a sigh, opening my eyes. ‘I’ll tell you.’

He settles back next to me, staring into my eyes like before. ‘I’m listening.’

‘I was just thinking about something Tash said to me the other day,’ I begin.

‘You’re worried about her having another baby,’ he cuts in before I can continue. ‘It’s normal, particularly after what you’ve told me about her struggles with the first one. What’s his name again?’

‘Isaac, but that’s not it actually.’

He looks confused. ‘Oh. What is it, then?’

‘It’s about you and me,’ I tell him before he can go off on another tangent. ‘She was asking where we go from here, and I wasn’t able to give her an answer. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great how well you’re looking after your mum, but you have to agree that it makes moving things to the next level tricky.’

A flash of annoyance crosses his face. ‘I’m not sure what our relationship has to do with your sister, if you don’t mind me saying.’

‘She’s got a point though, hasn’t she?’

‘I thought you were happy with the way things are.’

‘I am, but that doesn’t mean that I want them to stay like this forever.’

He looks properly irritated now. ‘Tilly, we’ve talked about this. Would I like to spend more time with you? Of course I would, but?—’

‘—your mother, I know,’ I say, cutting him off. ‘But what does that mean in the longer term? Are we still going to be like this in five years? Ten? What we have is fine for now, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to think about the future. Do you want a future with me, Luke?’ I know I’m sounding a bit needy but I need some reassurance from him – surely he can see that?

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