Page 27 of Love, Accidentally

‘That’s bollocks, Dad, and you know it,’ Will tells him fiercely. ‘Who’s going to celebrate my successes with me, or tell me my failures don’t matter, if you’re not here? Why hassle me about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with if you’re not there to spoil your grandchildren rotten? I need you now just as much as when I was little.’

Mr Barwell sighs deeply and closes his eyes, slipping back into unconsciousness.

‘Are you all right?’ I ask Will quietly. ‘I know this has been a huge shock.’

‘I should have seen it coming,’ Will says equally quietly, turning his extraordinary eyes to me. ‘My mother died from multiple sclerosis two months ago. For the last few years, Dad’s been her full-time carer so, when she finally died, he didn’t know what to do with himself. I’ve tried to encourage him to get back into his hobbies – he’s passionate about model aircraft – but I think he feels guilty about doing things that give him pleasure when Mum’s, you know…’

‘I’m so sorry for your loss,’ I tell him.

‘Don’t be. To be honest, it was a relief at the end. She was incredibly tough, my mum, but she’d suffered enough. What am I going to do about him though?’ He gestures to the supine figure on the bed.

‘The good news is that his vital signs are getting stronger. It’s too early to call it for sure, but I’m feeling hopeful. There’s a fair chance the overdose will have damaged his liver, so that will need to be assessed, but we can check all of that once he’s stable and we’ve admitted him.’

‘How long will he be in for?’

‘I don’t know. They’ll want to run lots of tests and the mental health team will want to have a chat with him. Is there someone who can be with him when he’s released? I’m sure that will speed the process up.’

Now it’s Will’s turn to sigh. ‘That’ll be me then.’

‘Do you have siblings who can help?’

‘Nope. There’s just me. It’s fine, I should have spotted what was going on earlier so this is partly my fault. It’s only fair that I should take some of the responsibility for it. I never realised things had got so bad. It’ll take a couple of days to sort out, but I can move down to be with him for as long as it takes.’

He looks crushed and my heart goes out to him a little bit. The parallel between his situation and Luke’s is not lost on me, but there’s a quality in Will that is curiously absent in Luke, now I come to think about it. I can’t pin it down exactly, but I can almost feel how heavily the weight of responsibility is sitting on Will and I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in Luke.

Mr Barwell opens his eyes again, obviously disorientated for a moment before he fixes his gaze on his son once more.

‘I’m sorry, Will,’ he says. ‘I’ve been a stupid, selfish old man.’

‘Yes. Yes, you have,’ Will replies, tears pouring down his cheeks again. I’m struggling to contain my own tears, but the tender moment is interrupted by the arrival of Luke, with a face like thunder.

‘Dr Patel sent me to check how the patient is doing,’ he says. Hopefully Will and his father don’t notice the surly undertone to his voice.

‘Good progress,’ I tell him, keeping my voice light. ‘Mr Barwell is conscious and his vital signs are greatly improved.’

‘Great.’ He turns to Mr Barwell. ‘Mr Barwell,’ he says very slowly and loudly, as if talking to someone twice his age, ‘my name is Dr Milne, and I’m one of the doctors here. I’m just going to examine you, and then we’ll see about admitting you to a ward.’

‘Can’t I just go home?’ Mr Barwell asks. ‘It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.’

‘We need to keep you in for a while, I’m afraid. Nurse Tilly will go and ring the admissions team, and we’ll get you settled as soon as we can, OK?’

‘Don’t worry,’ I add, reaching out to give Mr Barwell’s hand a squeeze. ‘We’ll take good care of you and get you home as soon as possible.’

‘Thank you,’ Will says softly, gazing at me with those incredible blue eyes. ‘For everything.’

‘My pleasure,’ I reply. ‘It’s kind of what we do here.’

‘I think that man has taken a shine to you,’ Luke says once we’re through the curtain and out of earshot. Is that a hint of jealousy I can hear in his voice? ‘Be careful, won’t you? You know what his type is like.’

‘No. What are they like?’ I ask, feeling my irritation rising again.

‘They see you as some sort of rescuer, a Florence Nightingale figure, and latch on to that.’

‘I’m doing my job and being friendly,’ I tell him firmly. ‘Nothing more.’

He looks distinctly unconvinced as he stalks off. As I pick up the phone to call the admissions team about Mr Barwell, I can’t help reflecting on the difference between him and Will again. Why doesn’t Luke have that same sense of responsibility about him? Caring for his mother must be a big burden but, besides using it as a reason to limit our time together and only meet at my flat, it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. For the first time, I’m starting to wonder if maybe Tash has a point and there’s more to this than meets the eye.

12

---