Page 57 of Love, Accidentally

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I have no idea how I ever thought I would have been able to do this on my own. Things started to unravel as soon as I started trying to wrestle Isaac’s frankly ludicrous car seat into the back of my car. Even with the front seat pushed all the way forwards, it took quite a bit of wriggling to get it through the gap, and I probably would have put my back out had Will not stepped in to help. Then, once it was finally in, fixing it in place and securing Isaac also turned out to be nigh-on impossible until Will admitted that he’d done the instructions for the manufacturer and knew exactly how it worked.

The soft-play centre is exactly as Will described, with an overwhelming odour of feet, but Isaac was undeterred and disappeared into the main structure without a backward glance. At one point, Will disappeared as well and I was just starting to wonder if I’d lost the pair of them when I spotted him with Isaac at the top of the big slide. I just had time to whip out my phone and film them coming down, with Isaac grinning from ear to ear, before they appeared at the table where I was drinking a distinctly mediocre coffee.

‘Did you see that, Auntie Tilly?’ Isaac asked breathlessly.

‘Isaac was a little nervous about going on his own, so I went with him,’ Will explained. ‘You’ll be all right now though, won’t you?’

‘It’s better with you there,’ Isaac replied. ‘Will you do it again with me?’

‘Of course.’

Since then, Will must have been down the slide nearly ten times with Isaac. I nearly sent the video straight to Tash on reflex, before realising that they’re supposed to be having an Isaac-free day. I’ll show it to her later.

‘Your husband is so good with your son,’ a voice says, and it takes me a moment to realise the person is speaking to me. I turn to see a slightly haggard-looking woman about my age, dressed in a baggy sweatshirt and leggings.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I couldn’t help watching,’ she continues. ‘And I’ll admit to being jealous. My husband won’t even set foot in this place, or do anything else to entertain his daughter at the weekend. What’s your secret?’

‘Oh, umm…’ I begin, about to explain that Will isn’t my husband and Isaac isn’t my son before realising that it’ll be much simpler all round if I just play along. ‘I guess I just landed one of the good ones,’ I tell her with a smile. ‘Will’s always been a hands-on dad.’

‘Lucky you,’ she remarks. ‘He’s pretty much the only father in here, have you noticed?’

I look around and realise she’s right. Apart from one guy sitting at a table in the corner with a coffee, and the uniformed staff members, all the adults in here are women.

‘I’m not the only one to have noticed,’ she continues conspiratorially. ‘Have a look around.’

Her remark coincides with Isaac and Will appearing at the top of the slide again and, as I glance around the room, I realise that pretty much all eyes are on them.

‘I suspect your husband is going to be the cause of a good number of uncomfortable conversations later,’ my companion confides.

‘Well, thank you,’ I say, feeling a little awkward now. ‘I’ll be sure to let him know.’

I’m just starting to realise what a difficult situation I’ve put myself in, because Isaac will debunk the woman’s assumptions the moment he reappears and calls me Auntie Tilly, when her attention is diverted to a small girl approaching her table in floods of tears.

‘What on earth is the matter?’ she exclaims, wrapping her in a hug. I half-listen as the girl unfolds a tale of woe between sobs about how she wanted to have a go on a particular piece of equipment but some boy had said she couldn’t. It would be just my luck if the boy turned out to be Isaac, so I’m relieved when she points out a completely different child. I can practically feel the woman’s hackles rising as she goes into protective mummy-bear mode, getting to her feet and beginning to advance towards the boy. I’m no expert in children, but I have a suspicion the girl was hamming up the incident to gain maximum sympathy. It’s certainly what Tash and I would have done to get each other into trouble when we were little.

No sooner has the girl’s mother started to remonstrate with the boy than another woman, evidently his mother, appears on the scene as well. Things are escalating quickly, if the jabbing fingers of the two women are anything to go by, and my suspicions about the girl are confirmed by the smirk on her face as her mother goes to war on her behalf. At least everyone is now watching them instead of Will, who chooses this moment to appear with Isaac.

‘This little man is hungry,’ he tells me. ‘Shall we make a move?’

‘Yes, absolutely,’ I reply, anxious to get out before either a full-scale war erupts between the two mothers, or I have to admit to a now indignant parent that I haven’t been entirely truthful. ‘Do you need the toilet before we go, Isaac, or can you wait until we get to McDonald’s?’

‘I need to go now,’ he announces. ‘Will can take me.’

‘Umm, no,’ I tell him. ‘Auntie Tilly will take you, because that’s what we told Mummy we’d do, OK?’

‘I want Will to take me.’ Isaac looks mutinous.

‘I tell you what,’ Will says, sinking down so he’s at the same level as Isaac. ‘Why don’t you go to the toilet with Auntie Tilly, and I’ll get our shoes so we’re ready to go when you come back?’

Isaac considers this for a moment. ‘You’ll be here? Promise?’

‘I’ll be right here,’ Will assures him.

‘Thank you,’ I mouth at him as I take Isaac’s hand. Will may be brilliant with him but I’m not sure how happy Tash would be about him taking care of Isaac’s personal needs. When we come back, Will is exactly where he said he would be, but is looking confused. ‘Everything all right?’ I ask him.

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