Page 81 of Love, Accidentally

‘Not so fast,’ I tell him. ‘I need to check you haven’t done any damage. Something like this could cause burst blood vessels and all sorts of problems.’ I turn his penis over in my hand and I’m relieved to see that there aren’t any telltale purple areas. ‘It looks like you’ve got away with it this time,’ I say as I cover him back up with the blanket. ‘You may experience some discomfort, but that should be manageable with over-the-counter medication. If the pain becomes intense, or you get any swelling, you’re to come straight back in, OK?’

‘Yes. Thank you.’

‘Right. We’ll leave you to get dressed and then you can go home. And Maurice?’

‘Yes?’

‘For goodness’ sake, leave your penis alone. It’s fine as it is.’

‘OK, thanks, nurse.’

‘Do you think he’s learned his lesson this time?’ Dr Patel asks as I start to update Maurice’s notes on the system.

‘I hope so. I don’t really get why men are so insecure about it. A penis is a penis, really, isn’t it? They all look broadly similar and do the same job.’

Dr Patel smiles broadly. ‘I’ll take your word for it. Talking of which, how is the boyfriend?’

‘I’m not sure I like that link, but everything is going very well, thank you. Did I tell you he and his father came over for Christmas?’

‘Brave. How did that go?’

‘Well, actually, I was a bit worried because my family can be a bit full-on, but he’s got a very strong bond with my nephew and I think that made them all fall in love with him, even the parasites.’

‘The who?’

‘Sorry, my stepbrother and -sister. They were there with their families as well, plus my mother invites pretty much anyone she thinks might be on their own. It’s a real bunfight.’

‘It sounds it. Is the father fully recovered now?’

‘Yes, he’s on excellent form. He’s really thrown himself into his hobbies and having Will around is good for both of them. I think my mum’s friend Brenda has taken a bit of a shine to him as well. She was getting distinctly predatory at Christmas.’

‘Good. Thinking of which, I have a somewhat delicate question I need to ask you.’

‘Yes?’

‘We’ve received a reference request for Dr Milne, from a hospital in Bournemouth.’

I pause my data entry, trying to work out how that piece of information makes me feel. I haven’t given Luke a thought in months, and I’m pleased to find that his name doesn’t trigger anything in me now.

‘I see,’ I tell her carefully. ‘I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.’

‘Yes, but what do I say?’

‘Tell them the truth.’

‘I can do that from a work perspective. He’s a talented doctor, if a loose cannon, but oddly there isn’t a box where I can fill in his predilection for seducing female nurses. Do you think I should include a covering letter?’

‘I wouldn’t bother. He’ll wriggle his way out of any uncomfortable questions like he always does.’

‘It just doesn’t sit well with me, knowing what I know.’

‘As everyone kept telling me at the time, his questionable morals aren’t my, or our, problem, especially as he didn’t actually do anything that technically constituted misconduct. I was a willing participant slash idiot.’

She sighs. ‘I suppose you’re right. I’ll leave you to finish that and then we’d better hand over to the night shift. Thanks, Tilly.’

As I make my way up to reception to walk to the car park, I let my mind wander on to Luke. I still don’t fully agree with Will’s assessment of Richenda, but I’m definitely in agreement that it was a very strange way to go about things in hindsight. I wonder how Cindy is getting on. I hope she’s OK.

‘Tilly!’ a familiar voice calls and I can feel my face breaking out into a smile before I even spot the owner.

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