Page 16 of Grounds for Love

I caress her cheek with mine, and with my lips against the tender skin around her ear, I ask, “Are you wet for me?”

Her body jolts and when I look into her eyes, they flare before narrowing in on my gaze. She nods and that’s my undoing.

I take her hand and say, “let’s get out of here.”

I make eye contact with Joy and nod towards the door. She smiles and gives me a thumbs up. I don’t stop until we’re outside and away from the noise, the heat, and the crowd of people. Jenni stumbles and I pull her close to my side.

No matter how much I want her, I know what I have to do. The first time I kiss her and make her mine isn’t going to be in a room full of drunks.

When we get to my truck, I pick her up and set her on the passenger seat, buckle her in, and close the door. When I get in and start the engine, she asks, “Where are we going?”

That’s a good question. I want to take her back to my house, or to her house, but that would be moving too fast. I promised slow. “How about we go somewhere and talk?”

“Talk?” she asks flatly.

I have to chuckle because yes, I’m putting on the brakes. I want to be inside her body, but I also want to learn more about this amazing woman.

I drive to a secluded and private spot overlooking the ocean.

“This is stunning,” she says as she takes in the moonlit scene before us. “It should be a painting.”

She may think the seascape is beautiful, but I can’t take my eyes off of her.

She turns and looks my way. “I don’t understand. I thought on the dance floor you wanted me.”

I take her hand and bring it to my lips and slowly lower it until she can’t deny how badly I want her. She gasps, but she doesn’t move her hand. “I do want you, Jenni. I want you so much, but tonight isn’t the right time. When we come together, I don’t want alcohol to spur your decision to be with me.”

She doesn’t reply, only turns back to the ocean drenched in moonlight. Her hand slowly leaves my erection and I close my eyes, wishing she were still touching me.

“You scare me, Rod. You’re such a good man and you make me want things and feel things that I thought I’d never experience again. And you’re right. Maybe the alcohol is making me braver than normal because I never would have admitted that sober.”

“Oh, baby, I’m scared too.” I’ve not been with anyone that mattered since Grace. “How long has it been for you?”

“A few years after Bryan died, I tried going out, but it didn’t feel right. The guy was an old friend from school, and we decided we needed to stay in the friend zone. So, it’s been six years. How about you?”

“Grace has been gone for almost ten years. I had no interest in dating, but about five years after she passed, I met someone that wanted the same thing I did—sex without emotions or expectations. Just sex.”

She nods and starts talking, and my heart begins to break. “Bryan was in an accident. He didn’t die right away. He was rushed into surgery where they tried to put him back together. He was paralyzed and the doctors were hopeful his health would improve. For a long time, I watched him fight to accept he’d never walk again. He refused to let me bring him home. He was such an amazing man and he didn’t want to be a burden to me. It would have been hard, but I wanted him home. With me. But he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—understand that. About six months after the accident, I got a call in the middle of the night that he’d had a massive heart attack and passed. I wasn’t even there to hold his hand or to tell him how much I loved him.”

Her soul-crushing sobs tear at my emotions. I reach over and pull her into my lap, cradle her in my arms, and let her cry. She’s probably held it inside for all these years. I should know.

When she quiets and then sighs, I wipe away her tears. “He knew, sweetheart. He knew how much you loved him because he loved you just as hard.”

My words start another emotional release. I let her cry and my own tears join hers. Once her sobs subside, I find my own story spilling from my lips.

“Grace was sick years before she passed. We’d wanted to start a family, but it never happened. We both went for testing and they found a mass around an ovary. It was cancer. She had a hysterectomy and chemo. She fought so hard to stay with me. At the end, as much as I wanted her to stay, I couldn’t stand seeing her in such pain. I had to let her go. Watching someone you love die is the most painful thing in the world. They kept her on morphine at the end and she never woke up. I wasn’t able to say goodbye or tell her how much I would always love her either. It ripped my heart out and for a long time, it was like I couldn’t breathe.”

Jenni rests her hand over my heart and looks into my eyes. “She felt your love around her as she passed, Rod. It eased her way. I know it did. We’re both so lucky to have had them in our lives.”

This time it’s Jenni who reaches up and wipes away my tears. She rests her head on my shoulder, and for a while there is no need to say anything. As if a switch flips inside my head, I know that Jenni is the one I’ll be with for the rest of my life. I shut my eyes and surrender.

As close as we are, I don’t trust myself inside the truck. I want her too intensely. “Come on, let’s go for a walk on the beach. It’s always been the place I go to when I’m at a low point. It’s soothing to my soul.”

“Are you sure? The sign back there says private property.”

I grin and open the truck door and help Jenni down. “I’m sure. I know the owner.”

Which isn’t a lie since the owner is me.

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