Page 39 of Touch My Shelves

He taps the blueprint. “You should definitely use both windows for displays.”

My gaze goes to his hands and I remember so many things those hands make me feel. I suck in air and will those thoughts away. “I plan to and then maybe just curtain off the archways between the two stores.”

“Good idea.” He walks around the table and picks up one of Freeya’s blocks that’s tagged with a sticky note indicating it’s a shelving display. “Why don’t you place a row of shelves here?” He places a block down and then picks up another. “And here.”

Together we work on placements, discussing the pros and cons of each, until the store looks perfect. Eventually we forget the hurtful words spoken and get back to comfortable conversation as we work. It’s easy and natural. I’m enjoying being with him like this. I could almost forget, but then he says, “I’m really sorry, Poppy.”

“It’s okay, Brax. I’m not mad at you any longer. You were right. You have Freeya to think about. Besides, I’m not looking for a relationship anyway. So it’s all good. I won’t bother you again with, you know. Sex.”

My cheeks heat and some evil force invades my mouth because I spew nothing but lies and I can’t seem to stop. “In fact, I’ve decided to take Adan up on his invitation. You know, just a date that might lead to a casual fling. I don’t think he’s looking for anything more than that either.” I giggle awkwardly and can’t stop my mouth from running off. Then it takes a decided dip into the absurd.

“Now don’t you worry one bit. I’ll make sure that any time I spend with Adan, or any other man for that matter, won’t interfere with my time with Freeya. I’ll always be home to start her lessons by nine.” I ramble on, feeling like someone else is taking up residence in my body and saying these outlandish things. I haven’t even spoken with Adan since I texted him to cancel out date.

I try not to let the tensing of Brax’s jaw make me giddy. “Adan,” he says through clenched teeth. “You’re seeing him now.”

The lines on his forehead crease into graduated lines. “Great,” he snaps with a false smile.

“Great?” I reply, a bit angry that he’s taking it so well. Now I’m getting mad. He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either. He probably can’t believe I can find a man interested in being with me.

I paint on my own obnoxious smile. “Right, great! I’m so glad we cleared the air and all.”

“Everything is just great.” A pensive look appears on his face.

“Good talk. Carry on,” he says before walking out just as quickly as he came.

Carry on…

I think I need to do just that. I need to stop looking back at what I had and move past the man and this invisible hold he’s had on me. I could so easily lose myself in him. I’ve never understood the attraction before, but now I do. Is that how it happens? You want him so bad, you just forget who you are?

There’s never going to be an “us.” I need to admit that to myself.

* * *

“So let me get this straight. Your store burned to the ground. You moved into a castle to be a nanny. You discover the dad is really the man you groped in the alley and still have naughty dreams about, and he’s also author BJ Sully. The town is helping you renovate a new store and you’ll be moving in soon. Your life is nothing but unicorn poop.”

“That’s about right,” I agree with a chuckle. In some context, at least, that’s the story of my life. Due to our schedules, it’s been too long since Naudi and I had a long, chatty session. I use a box cutter to open another box of books while talking with Naudi on speakerphone. I’m working alone at the store. Since it’s Saturday, Freeya is with her dad. I have no idea what their plans are for the day. When I handed off Freeya Friday afternoon at five, we’d only done the customary courtesy talk, and since I don’t eat breakfast with them anymore, I’m not privy to their schedule. Distance. I guess that’s our new thing.

Naudi grumbles under her breath and says, “I hate you. Only you would luck out groping BJ Sully and then end up living with him. Have you slept with him?”

“Naudi!” I quickly take her off speakerphone because you never know. “I am looking after his daughter, so we have a professional relationship.”

Now we do.

“A long time ago, don’t I remember someone saying they were over babysitting their plethora of nieces, nephews, and cousins?”

I can just see the smirk on her face. “You’re a pain in the ass. You know that, right? I know what I said, but this is different. I’ve told you before, Freeya is different. She’s such a cool kid and we always have a good time, even if it’s doing boring school work. She has different ways of looking at the world.”

“And her father?” she asks.

I have to be very careful here. We always share the good, the bad, and the naughty with each other. I’m not ready to open up to my friend about whatever is or isn’t going on with Brax. “What about him? He works on his next release. What I want to know is why you haven’t mentioned anything about work.”

“It’s going good, but I don’t want to jinx anything by talking about it. All I’ll say is finally I might be getting the big break I’ve worked so hard to get.”

I gasp. She’s getting a break. A chance to show her brilliance. “Dane is letting you work on the new line?”

“Something like that, but maybe even better,” she says with a smug tone.

My mouth drops and I am so thrilled. “Better than working on the new line?”

---