“Hi Sin.”
“Hey, babe. How are things?”
I fill her in on the latest with the construction as I lock the key away.
“That all sounds great.”
“Definitely.”
“How do you feel?”
She asks every time she calls. “Good. Things are going great.” It sounds hollow.
“What’s happening Calli? Really?”
“I came to the house. It’s empty and the key safe still has the same code.”
“Oh, babe, you shouldn’t be wandering around there on your own.”
“No, it’s fine,” I say, turning to look back at the house. “It’s cathartic. I needed to let go. It all happened so fast when I left.”
“And have you done that? Let it go?”
“I think so.”
“I’m glad. Are you any closer to deciding?”
She always asks this too. I’ve not committed beyond this job. Nothing is left for me here. Garrett said I could continue my job from Baltimore. He’s right. If I’m determined enough to go back to being an architect, I can do it there. This could be the steppingstone.
“Does this have anything to do with metal dick?” Sin asks when I don’t respond.
This is her new name for Garrett. Literal and metaphorical is how she explains it. I get into the rental and lock the door.
“I don’t know, Sin. Have you spoken to him?”
“No,” she scoffs. “Lucky talks about him. The girls from the shop send their love, by the way. Everyone misses you. Oh, she also said Garrett looks like shit.”
“I don’t want to hear that.”
“Which part?”
“Any of it?” I say it like a question.
Sin blows out a heavy sigh. “You gave away how you feel at margarita night. Not to mention how he looked at you that last night. The question is, is it his metal dick alone that got you all dreamy eyed?”
“Shut up,” I laugh. “There is more to him than that.”
“Like what?”
“I know what you’re doing. I thought you were in your ‘we hate Garrett’ phase.”
“That hasn’t changed. Much.”
I cover my face with my hand. If Sin is bringing up how bad he looks, things must be bad. I can’t afford to worry about that. I’m trying to figure myself out. The whole point of this was to step away, get myself straight.
How am I supposed to do that when thoughts of Garrett are never far from my mind?
“Do you want to hear me say I miss him? How can I miss him when he was never really mine?”