Page 91 of My Big, Fat, Secret Billionaire Baby

I’ve closed billion-dollar funding rounds. Surely I can handle some Velcro tabs and baby powder.

I lift her carefully out of the crib. She feels small and fragile in my arms, and makes a protesting squeak.

“Easy there, Killer,” I murmur awkwardly. “Just… routine maintenance.”

The changing table is stocked with military precision thanks to Thomas. Wipes, cream, powder, diapers stacked like ammunition.

Thank god, man. Note to self: Thomas is getting a bigfucking raise.

I lay Mia down. She kicks her little legs, regarding me with wide, slightly confused green eyes.

Okay. Tabs off.

Wipe.

Cream? Powder? Both?

Fuck knows.

I grab the cream. Apply generously.

Place the new diaper. Tabs on.

Did I get it tight enough? Too tight?

Shit.

She seems okay. Not screaming, anyway.

I bundle the used diaper. The smell is atrocious.

What the hell do I—

Right.

The Diaper Genie.

Dom’s miracle suggestion.

I find the sleek, futuristic-looking bin and manage to shove the offending package inside without incident. I can almost hear the video game reward sound playing in the background.

Congratulations, you changed a diaper!

Achievement Unlocked: Tier I - Basic Parental Functionality.

“Well, look at you.”

I turn, startled. Sabrina stands in the nursery doorway, wrapped in a plush white bathrobe I recognize from the guest suite. Her hair is tousled from sleep, her face free of makeup. She looks soft, approachable, and unfairly beautiful in the dim morning light.

A small, amused smile plays on her lips.

“Didn’t think I’d ever see the day,” she says, her voice husky with sleep. “Leo Maxwell, billionaire venture capitalist, vanquishing a dirty diaper at sunrise.”

I feel a ridiculous flush creep up my neck. “Yeah, well. Someone had to do it.” I pick Mia up again, settling her against my shoulder. She feels warm, smells clean now. It’s… nice. “Consider it part of my seed funding round in ‘Project: Fatherly Duties’. Early stage, high risk, potential for massive disruption.”

Sabrina giggles. “Wow. Do you actually filtereverythingthrough a Venture Capitalist lens? Wait, don’t answer that.” She walks further into the room, leaning against the doorframe. “How was she, by the way?”

“Wet. Now less so. Didn’t even cry. Apparently, I have hidden talents.”

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