“I took some time—about a week,” he says, “went down to Miami, and laid out my options with some buddies of mine.When I came back, I knew what I wanted to do. I told your grandfather and then walked out of his office and asked your mom out. So, you could say that break changed my life.”
I give him a closed-mouth smile. The story goes that my mom was my grandpa’s secretary and my dad had always wanted to ask her out but could never get up the nerve, and then one day, he did. I never knew the whole story until right now. Leave it to my dad to keep something like this in his back pocket in case one day I’d go through it too. To show me he got through it. He did the same when I failed my driver’s test at sixteen. He’d also failed his first time but waited to tell me on the off chance I did the same.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe a break will change the direction of my life too. Maybe it will give me some perspective. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll go on vacation and never come back, become a recluse, live in the forest, grow a beard. The possibilities are endless. Except, I’ve never been able to grow a beard.
“As your boss, I can’t force you to take time off,” he goes on. “HR would have a problem with that. But as your dad, I’m asking you to do it. Take some time and figure this out, Zane.”
We sit in silence for a moment, my thoughts swirling once again.
“Okay,” I finally tell him. “And you’re sure this won’t look bad to everyone else?” I’m having a hard time making peace with that part.
He waves my concern away. “I’ll cover it,” he says.
“And you’re sure I shouldn’t stay here and try to fix things with Summit?” I ask.
He shakes his head again. “I can handle that too. Mistakes will happen in the future, Son. I need to know that when they do, you’re okay, that you’re where you want to be.”
I nod. “Okay. I’ll take some time off.”
“Take a week or even two if you need it.”
I laugh nervously. “I think a week will be enough to figure it out.” At least, I hope it’s enough.
“Go somewhere fun,” he says. “Take an actual vacation.”
I don’t see that happening. All I can picture right now is lying in my room, staring at the ceiling, hearing the soundtrack toPride and Prejudicethrough the walls. Amelia and Macey watched it again last night. They were prepping for Macey’s weird trip—at least that’s what Amelia said. Macey didn’t talk to me. She hardly ever does these days. I wish I could fix that. Too bad there’s already too much in my life that needs fixing right now.
“I love you, Son,” my dad says. I feel stinging suddenly behind my eyes. Not because he doesn’t say it often—my parents are free with their “I love yous”—but because of the sincerity in his voice. Right now, he’s not only telling me he loves me—he’s showing it.
“Should I stay until the end of the day?” I ask him, my words coming out a little thick.
He scratches his chin. “Sure,” he says. “Finish out the day. But tomorrow, you’re on vacation. Take the time you need to figure this out. And I know you will.”
Dammit. The stinging gets worse. His faith in me is more than I can handle right now, especially when my own is waning.
I get up from my chair, nod, and give him a quick smile, blinking back my emotions. Then I walk out the door and down the hall to my office, where I shut the door and sit down at my desk.
I swipe a hand down my face and open up the company intranet to submit a vacation request. Under reason for leaving, I type “existential crisis” before deleting. Not sure HR would approve that.
I submit the form and then sit back in my chair. I guess I’m really doing this.
MACEY
An email from Macey to her mom, Thursday, September 12, 4:22 p.m.
From:[email protected]
Subject:Quick Update
Hi Mom,
Another day at work, hiding out in the supply room. Remember that program I told you about—the one I poured my heart into? Well, it’s actually happening, which is great. Except I’m not the one running it. But I’m trying to stay positive.Even if I loathe Verity and want to pull her stupid ponytail.
At least I have my trip to Pride and Prejudice Park to look forward to. Only two more days! Even if I’m going Darcy-less because Derek bailedand now, he’s dead to me. I’m still determined to be excited and have the best time.
Love,