Page 32 of Desperately Seeking Mr. Darcy

I give him wide, irritated eyes. What can I do right now? I can’t just blurt out in front of everyone that I’m supposed to be playing Elizabeth. No, I will tell Agatha afterward, in private, and show her my paperwork. Even if she is sort of scary. It’s probably a mistake, and I’m sure she’ll fix it.

“Charles Bingley will be played by Zane Porter,” Agatha announces.

My heart sinks when I hear this. I’d hoped Agatha would name someone else, proving this was just a mix-up. But if Zane, my last-minute plus-one, has been cast as my character’s romantic counterpart, it feels deliberate.

I feel a sort of disorientation as I hear the other players announced, with all the thoughts racing around my head at once—horsebeing the loudest one—as I try to figure out what to do. Is there anything Icando? Obviously, I have to say something. And I will. After we’re done with the introductions, I’ll pull Agatha aside and explain it to her.

The other Bennet sisters—Mary, Kitty, and Lydia—are introduced, and I hardly pay attention. But my ears do perk up when our hostess announces who will play Caroline Bingley: a haughty-looking woman named Lady Winnifred Roberts. Does everyone in England have a title?

Agatha next introduces a smarmy-looking man named Tony as George Wickham. I’m not sure why anyone would pay to play that role? But if there was ever a person typecast for the part, it’s this guy, with his tight jeans and T-shirt and perfectly coiffed hair.

She announces Mr. and Mrs. Bennet next, and for a moment I forget all the worries plaguing me because ... wow.

“He looks like Idris Elba,” I say, mostly to myself, but Monroe, the woman mistakenly cast as Elizabeth, hears me.

The man, with his tall, athletic build and smooth, brown skin, reminds me so much of the actor.

“Oh, I see it,” she says, leaning toward me. “Should I feel guilty for being wildly attracted to the man playing our father?”

I snort out a quiet laugh. “Probably, but then I should feel guilty too.”

Monroe giggles, and I feel like we’ve just sort of bonded, and now I’m going to feel terrible when I show Agatha my paperwork, and she has to give up the part of Elizabeth.

She nudges me with her arm and we both stand a little taller when Mr. Collins is introduced.

“Oh my,” I say, for only Monroe to hear.

He’s a staff member, but whoa, why would they cast someone so pretty for that role? With his curly hair and that Greek-god aura, he even makes the clergyman costume he’s already wearing look good. The rest of the roles, like Charlotte Lucas, the Gardiners, and Sir William Lucas are played by staff members as well, but none as memorable as this guy.

“I’d boil potatoes for him,” Monroe says, and yep, she is my kind of person. Crap. That really throws a wrench into everything. It would be easier if that Lady Winnifred person was cast as Lizzy. I’d have no problems taking it away from her.

“There you have it,” Agatha says. “Now begins yourPride and Prejudicejourney. Remember, you are here to emulate the qualities that our beloved Jane Austen valued, such as love and friendship, honor and integrity. With that said, this is not the time for you to be seeking romantic pursuits outside of your characters. This is notthattype of experience. Do not besmirch Ms. Austen’s good name by going off script or breaking the rules. There will be severe consequences if you do, which could include being asked to leave.”

She looks around the room, giving us each a very poignant, I-mean-business stare. She doesn’t have to worry about me. Nothing is happening with Zane, Mr. Bennet is obviouslymarried, and unless Mr. Collins is interested in a tryst of some sort, I doubt I’ll have any other temptations.

“Now let us proceed upstairs for your wardrobe fittings and character briefings,” Agatha directs.

“Go talk to her,” Zane urges.

“What do I say?” I ask, hoping he’ll just tell me the words necessary to fix all of this. Better yet, maybe he could go talk to her?

“Just show her your packet,” he says.

I look around the room as everyone else heads toward the grand staircase, holding out my hands. “I don’t have it,” I say.

“Just tell her it’s with your things,” he says.

I let out a sigh. This all feels ... hard.

“Don’t you want to play Elizabeth?”

“Of course,” I say, frustrated. That’s a silly question. Of course I do. But there are other things at play here. Like, I don’t have the proof with me to show Agatha, or I guess now Lady Catherine. And also, I don’t want to step on toes or hurt feelings.

“Come now, hurry,” Agatha/Lady Catherine says, ushering us toward the stairs.

“Now’s your chance,” Zane urges, with a small head lift toward our hostess.

Right. Okay.Do it for the horses, Macey.Well, not for the horses, for yourself.

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