Page 64 of Desperately Seeking Mr. Darcy

“BUT WHAT WOULD YOU THINK of a lady who let herself get swept up in someone’s charms, only to question whether it was all real?” I ask my pseudo family at breakfast the next day.

We’re all looking haggard given the ball went until nearly two in the morning. Zane and I were able to sneak out and sneak back in without anyone noticing. There was no sitting ina garden this time, or him goading me into admitting things; we just talked and teased. It felt like old times, only ... different.

There was no sign of any spies or guards, but we tried to keep to the shadows just in case. It only made it more fun. I wonder if Lady Catherine knows that forbidding romantic pursuits only makes them that much more enticing.

I can’t really be sure, but it feels like something has shifted between us. It’s in the way Zane touches me without hesitation, the way he worries about my comfort. The way he sees me in a way I don’t think anyone else ever has. I even caught myself apologizing twice this morning for no reason. It really has become a habit.

I don’t know how Zane is feeling, but for me, the crush is back in full force, and perhaps even bigger than ever. Which is how I find myself at the breakfast table with the other Bennets, trying to subtly ask them for help with Zane, while staying in character. It’s not easy. But I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it. My brief text exchange with Amelia during leisurely pursuits wouldn’t have been enough time to talk about anything, and again, it’s her brother. I’m not sure she’ll ever want to talk about it.

“I would think it natural for her to question, especially if her heart is at stake,“ Jane says softly, her spoon pausing just above her tea. “But I would also hope she allows herself to enjoy the charms, at least for a while. Sometimes, only time can reveal what is true.“

“Well, if she doesn’t want to be swept up in his charms, I’ll happily take her place,” Lydia says, her tone impish.

“Oh yes, count me in,” Kitty adds, and Mary just covers her mouth as she tries to laugh demurely.

“Lydia and Kitty Bennet,” Mrs. Bennet says, her voice a reprimand, but the upward twitch of her lip gives away her amusement.

She looks at me. “Am I to assume we are speaking of the handsome Mr. Wickham?”

I can barely hold back the wrinkling of my nose. Heck no, I’m not talking about that gross man. But I stop myself from the expression because at this point in the story, Elizabeth has been duped by the attractive soldier and thinks Darcy wronged him. Of course, in this Regency reenactment, Wickham was found by the stables sticking his tongue down Caroline Bingley’s throat. Wouldn’t the Bennets be interested in that juicy bit of information.

They might also like to know that in this reenactment, Elizabeth is falling fast for Darcy. Oh gosh, I really need someone to talk to.

“Yes,” I finally say. “I am speaking of Wickham, of course.”

“Oh, but he is handsome,” Lydia says. “I’d like to enjoy some romantic pursuits in the garden with that man.”

“Oh!” Jane says, a hand going to her chest as if she’s appalled by her younger sister’s words.

The door to the house opens, and in walks Lady Catherine, making us all sit a little straighter. Everyone but Lydia, that is. She looks like she’s still dreaming about Wickham.

“I trust you are all in good spirits after last night’s ball,” Lady Catherine says, her voice ringing out like a bell. “I thought it was a most stupendous affair. Was it not?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, though, her tone suggesting she’s already decided it was. This morning, she’s dressed in a periwinkle frock, her wig much more subdued than last night’s towering monstrosity. Her cleavage, however, is ample as always.

“Now,” she continues briskly, clapping her hands together. “Do make haste. We have a busy day ahead of us, and I expect you all to perform with the utmost dedication.”

She launches into the schedule: We begin with Mr. Collins reading to us at Longbourn, followed by a luncheon with him,and then his proposal to me. After that, we’ll reenact the scene where Charlotte tells me she’s getting engaged to Mr. Collins. Then I’ll pack some of my things and move to Rosings Park for the night—specifically Hunsford Parsonage, where I’ll visit Charlotte. The day will end with dinner hosted by none other than the esteemed Lady Catherine de Bourgh herself. We’ll finally get to see her “in action,” although I doubt it will be much different from how she acts now.

A half hour later, we’re sitting in the living room, listening to Mr. Collins read aloud from Fordyce’s Sermons. Unlike the Mr. Collins from the book, this one has our full attention. With his curly hair and handsome face ... Monroe was right—I would totally boil potatoes for him. Mary is practically drooling, her eyes dreamy as she hangs on his every word.

Maybe when I get home, I’ll make myself a T-shirt that says,I’d Eat Boiled Potatoes with Mr. Collins Any Day, but then again, no one there would get the joke.

“As Fordyce so eloquently states,” Mr. Collins intones, his rich, steady voice making the dull text sound like Shakespearean verse, “Modesty in a woman is the crown jewel of her virtues.”

“Indeed,” Kitty sighs as she stares dreamily at the man.

After luncheon—where there were, in fact, boiled potatoes on the menu, though I couldn’t make a joke about it because it wasn’t part of the script and Lady Catherine was watching us from her chair in the corner—it’s time for the proposal.

“Mrs. Bennet, I was hoping to have a private word with Miss Elizabeth, if you would permit it,” Mr. Collins says, starting the scene.

Mrs. Bennet gasps. “Oh, of course, Mr. Collins! Girls, Mr. Bennet, come along. Let us leave Lizzy to hear Mr. Collins’s most important words.”

They go around the corner and eavesdrop, according to the script, and Lady Catherine’s instruction. But not before Lydiasays, “Why is she so lucky?” which gets a shush, and a dirty look from Lady Catherine.

“Miss Bennet, I beg you to hear me out with patience, for what I am about to propose is a matter of the utmost gravity,” he says, and then clasps his hands together as if in prayer. “It is my duty as a clergyman to marry, to set a proper example for my parishioners. After much thought—and, I might add, the esteemed guidance of Lady Catherine de Bourgh—I have concluded that you, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, are the most suitable choice to fulfill this role.”

I fold my hands in front of me. “Mr. Collins, I—“

“Please, allow me to finish,” he cuts me off, just like the script says. “While I am fully aware of the modesty of your fortune and the, ah, peculiarities of your family’s situation, I am prepared to overlook these drawbacks. Indeed, I see this as an act of generosity on my part, a sentiment I hope you will one day come to appreciate.”

---