Page 9 of Desperately Seeking Mr. Darcy

We never talked about it. Only a couple of days after delivering the letter that shall not be discussed, Zane left for college across the country, so I hardly saw him. Then I went to Sac State, and since then my interactions with him have been minimal at best.

The fact that I’m sharing an apartment with him now demonstrates how desperately I needed a place, because had there been any other options, I would have taken them in a heartbeat, if only to save myself from the awkwardness. I’vemade it work, though. Zane mostly stays in his room, and when he ventures out to the living room or kitchen, I barely talk, like I’ve forgotten how to make words with my mouth. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

I know it’s ridiculous to still feel this way after all these years, but something about Zane just short-circuits my brain. I’m a twenty-eight-year-old woman, yet here I am, reverting to my teenage self every time he walks into the room.

“I can’t believe I watched the rest of that,” Zane says a little while later, after Darcy and Elizabeth have finally kissed and the credits are rolling. He lolls his head back against the couch, an empty plate balancing on his lap.

“It’s because you secretly love it,” Amelia says.

“Yeah, no,” Zane responds, dryly.

“You agree with me, right Macey? That Zane lovesPride and Prejudice?”

I give them both a closed-mouth smile, because ... words.

“You’re a moron,” Zane says to Amelia and starts to get up from the couch.

“Wait,” Amelia says, and Zane sits back down. “How did I not think of this?” She shakes her head back and forth before twisting her lips to the side.

“Think of what?” Zane asks, confused.

“What do you think about taking next week off and going with Macey to Pride and Prejudice Park?”

No, no, no.I sit up on the couch. I need to put an end to this line of thinking immediately.

“Pride and Prejudice what?” Zane asks.

Amelia’s shoulders drop, and she lets out a sigh, like she’s talking to a petulant child. “It’s a resort where superfans of the book get to dress up in Regency clothing and act out scenes from it. I told you about it.”

“Wait.” The corner of Zane’s mouth lifts upward. “People really do that? I thought you were kidding.”

“Yes,” Amelia says, irritation in her tone. “And Macey won a trip for two, but her Mr. Darcy cancelled. Soyoushould go with her.”

Amelia’s head moves back and forth, from Zane to me. Her irritation with Zane has now morphed into bright eyes and a huge smile, indicating that she thinks this is the best idea she’s ever had.

I give her bulgingdon’t you dareeyes, willing her to read my mind that I want her to stop this immediately. The idea of reenacting romantic scenes with Zane is mortifying.

But she doesn’t see me, or myI will hurt youglare. Nothing is getting through to her because she’s on a mission.

“Why aren’tyougoing?” Zane asks Amelia.

She side-eyes him. “Because I can’t play Darcy, duh. Plus, I have the product launch at work. You know this. I can’t miss it. Come on, Zane, you could totally do this.”

I need to say something because Zane is the absolute, 1,000,000 percent, last person I’d want to go do Austen cosplay with. Just picturing it gives me the ick. Formyself. The thought of reenacting scenes with him is so embarrassing, it’s actually helping me see how ridiculous a place like Pride and Prejudice Park really is—like my Darcy goggles have been yanked off.

“Well, I can’t go,” Zane says with a quick shrug.

I almost let out a sigh, I’m so relieved. The Darcy goggles are back on.

“Why not?” Amelia asks him.

“I have work,” Zane says.

She waves his words away with her hand. “You work too much.”

“Yes, but I, too, have a project I can’t leave.” He looks over to me. “Sorry, Macey, I wish I could help you out.”

I give him an understanding smile and nod my head, even though I’d love to hug him right now for saying he can’t go.

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