Page 152 of Cursed Shadows 5

The shame of it springs an idea.

Our shames.

I tell him a shame of mine. “I had no friends.”

The surprise has his cerulean eyes turning on me.

“All my life in the light lands, I had no friends at all. They didn’t like me, the others I studied with in lessons, those I danced with at the High Court. I sometimes tried to be better, but it didn’t stop their dislike of me. Sometimes, I excused it as disdain for halfbreeds. But the truth,” I say with a bitter smile, “is that I threw tantrums, I never shared, I was rude and cocky—and I slept with males even when they had lovers.”

Daxeel’s mouth turns down at the corner.

“I needed to be loved,” I confess. “And so I sought it out in the ugliest of ways, in the darkest of places. Then I met Eamon. I turned of age for the High Court, and I met him, the recruiter whose smile was true whenever I spoke.”

My face crumples.

I lift my hands to my cheeks and hold the tears cascading there.

Daxeel is quiet for a moment before he swallows, thick. The faint wisp of tears coats his voice, “After you harmed my heart at the High Court… I rode straight to Hemlock House. I had one thing in mind—get to Samick before I shattered. I made it to the porch before I collapsed, and Samick was there, holding me through the pain.” He looks at me, the shame creeping along his cheeks. “I wept, on my knees, like a youngling.”

My smile is watery, but sincere.

It might not seem much of a shame, but if he shares it, and his cheeks are hot as flames, then I accept it as a deep shame he reveals to me.

And it is enough.

Those shared confessions soothe us for a while. We sit, side by side, on the ledge of the old, fallen tower, and watch the thick darkness slowly spiral through the air.

The Quiet is nearing us when I think to ask, “Where is Dare?”

Daxeel stills beside me. “I do not know.”

I turn a blank look on him. “

“We were in the same unit,” he tells me, “but we didn’t make it to the end of the mission together.” The look he turns on me is pinched with worry. “Samick isn’t back, either. But I received word that his unit is returned.”

His head drops as his mouth thins.

The shame he shares, the worry he blatantly shows me.

I watch him crumble.

I take no joy from it.

The same fear spreads through my chest, an echo.

A worry for Dare.

Daxeel slides his hand over the stone towards mine. Fingertips touch mine…

I look down at the join of our bodies.

He threads his fingers through mine.

I let him.

36

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