Page 103 of Rebellious Hearts
“I’m here for the good and the bad, Sofia, you know that. Life is ugly and full of surprises, and if I were only around for the good stuff I wouldn’t be much of a friend.”
I was so grateful for Elena. I was so grateful I had friends who were there for me and would be there for me going through all of this. With my family all in Oregon, I would have to do it all alone.
There was no way I was going back home for this. I’d broken away from my family a long time ago, and I’d worked my way up the corporate ladder thanks to hard work and determination. I’d done it all on my own.
And I would figure this out, too. Somehow.
Right now, it all felt so terrifying.
“What’s going to happen now?” Elena asked.
I reached for my tea again. The ginger was soothing.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know if I can go back to the office.”
“Why not? You don’t work directly with Ben, do you?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t. I guess that wouldn’t matter. If I still have a job, that is.”
“What makes you think you won’t?”
She was right, of course. Ben was furious with me, but he knew I was pregnant and he was too good to fire me when I had a baby on the way.
Right?
At least I thought he was good enough at his core to be like that and not be spiteful after everything that had happened.
“I think the part that gets to me the most is that he thinks none of this was real. He thinks that I don’t care about him, and he wants nothing to do with me.”
“Why don’t you just talk to him?”
I shook my head. “I tried. If he’s not willing to listen to me, not willing to hear what I have to say, then there isn’t much else I can do.”
Elena shook her head. “It’s not supposed to work this way.”
“What way?”
“With two people madly in love not being together.”
I chuckled dully. “I don’t know if he feels the same about me as I feel about him, anyway. He has such a good poker face, it’s difficult to know where I stand with him.”
Although, when he’d dropped his poker face and I’d seen a side of him that was caring and gentle and beautiful, the person he’d shown me had been so amazing, so loving.
Had all of that been a dream? Had it been an act? Had it been a mistake?
“What’s going to happen now with the baby? Is he going to be involved?”
“I don’t know,” I said flatly. “He said that he would do what he needed to do as the baby’s father, that he wouldn’t just turn his back on the child. I’m not sure what that means.”
Elena shook her head. “I can’t stand parents who only exist in Christmas and birthday cards.”
“I don’t think that’s how he’ll do it,” I said. “He’s still the kind of person who will do the right thing. No matter how much he hates me.” At least I was pretty sure he would do that.
But that didn’t change the fact that I had no idea what to expect in the future. Everything in my life was going to change. Knowing that Ben would send money was a small consolation, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t help the pain, the uncertainty, and the fact that this baby was conceived out of love but would grow up on the premise of what Ben believed was a lie.
And a tiny, tiny part of me was resentful, angry that he would send me money but not be involved. Almost like he was buying me off to stay out of his life.
But that was unfair of me to think, wasn’t it?
