Page 114 of Rebellious Hearts
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SOFIA
Ijerked upright on the couch. I must have fallen asleep again.
Lately, I’d been falling asleep more and more. I was so exhausted. It had to be the pregnancy, but the truth was I wasn’t sure.
Maybe something was wrong.
Or maybe sleeping was just easier to get away from everything, to escape from the world.
Don’t be pathetic, I scolded myself, although I knew I was being hard on myself.
I had to get to a doctor soon. I had to accept that I was pregnant and that this was my life now.
I had to make a decision—was I going to choose this life, have the baby and stay in Rhode Island, or was I going to give the baby up when the time came and go to Costa Rica?
The answer was easy. My subconscious had already decided long before I’d actively thought about it. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind—I wanted to raise this baby. However hard it was going to be. However lonely without his or her father by my side… I was going to do this.
I didn’t know why I knew it so clearly, but this baby was a part of me. Literally. And giving this up, a little miracle that hadn’t asked to be in this situation, would be cruel and unkind.
I would never do to this baby what its father’s birth parents had done to him.
The television was still on. I couldn’t remember what I’d watched, but I picked up the remote and flipped through the channels.
Suddenly, Ben was full screen, front and center. I stared, blinking.
It was as if my mind had conjured him.
But no, he was surrounded by press, and he had a microphone clipped to his lapel.
This was a press release and I’d caught it just in time.
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed members of the press, he started.
He looked so handsome in his tailored suit. His brown eyes were light, his face open. He’d shaved off the stubble on his chin, and I wanted to reach through the screen and stroke my fingers along his jaw, feel what it felt like.
I forced myself to focus on what he was saying.
I stand before you today with a humble heart and a sense of responsibility that weighs heavy on my shoulders. The Harborview Rejuvenation Project has been the subject of conversation for a while, and there have been missteps in our approach…
Ben shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
No. Notourapproach. Mine.He took a deep breath and shuffled his weight to one foot, undoing his blazer.
I messed up, and I take full accountability for that. As the leader of this mission, I made errors in judgement, but I get itnow. It took me a while to realize I’ve been on the wrong path, but I figured it out.
Everyone was holding their breath, and it was so quiet.
Even I was holding my breath to hear what he had to say.
In my eagerness to succeed, I rushed forward without understanding what exactly was at stake. I didn’t consider the needs of my partner.He looked at the camera, and it felt like he was looking directly at me.
I didn’t listen. I thought I knew better. I didn’t see the whole picture, and for that, I’m sorry. I get it now. It takes more than just a charming smile to succeed. It takes humility, empathy, and willingness to admit when I’ve made a mistake.
So, this is not the end of our journey. In fact, it’s just the beginning. After introspection, after learning from my mistakes I hope I’ve grown, and this time, I’m committed to doing it right. To being there.
He finally looked away. The hair on my arms and neck stood on end. Had he really said what I’d just thought he’d said? Had he really told me that he’d been wrong, that he hadn’t listened, that he hadn’t acted the right way?
