Page 43 of Pucking Fate

“No kidding? So, what’s up, man?” he asks. “You calling to make sure I haven’t gotten myself arrested, or do you have something else on your mind?”

“Yeah, there’s something on my mind,” I say, as I take a seat on the weight bench in the small, empty hotel gym. “Although I am glad to hear that you’re not behind bars.”

“Live and learn. What’s going on? You sound worse than you did after we lost the championship.”

“It’s Maya,” I admit.

“What happened with your baby mama?”

I exhale, trying to find the words. “We’ve been great together, no sex but other stuff, and it was amazing.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

My chest tightens like it’s being squeezed in a vice as I tell him, “A few nights ago she said it was the last time, that she’s ready to move on, and we should end things because I’m going back to Greensboro soon. And the reason she won’t move, won’t give us a chance, and won’t tell Finley I’m his dad is all apparently because she says things will never work out between us.”

Luke lets out a low whistle. “Damn man, that’s rough.”

“And I didn’t really handle it well. I sort of blew up at her and stormed out of the house. Since then, I go over to spend the day with Finley, then I leave to go back to my hotel room.”

“So, what’s your plan now?”

“That’s the thing,” I say with the kind of frustration that makes me want to pull my hair out. “I don’t fucking know what to do. I don’t want to just sit around and do nothing. But I don’t know how to fix it if I don’t know what I did wrong. I think Maya meant it, about being done with me, like I screwed up my shot at redeeming myself with her.”

Luke is quiet for a moment. “You love her?”

“More than anything,” I say without hesitation, finally admitting it to myself as well. “She’s the mother of my kid. But even if she wasn’t, she’s… everything.”

“Alright, let’s break this down. You wanted to show her that you could be a good father, a good role model, and you did that after a few weeks, right?”

“Yes, I think so. Maya told me I was doing great with Finley.”

“Okay, and you weren’t fooling around with anyone else during that time?”

“I don’t want anyone but Maya. Like other women don’t even exist in my world now.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“Basically, but she just doesn’t believe me or trust me.”

“Okay, well, you can’t just tell her that you’re ready to settle down and expect her to believe it. I mean, would anyone believe Christian Riley is head over heels in love? No fucking way.”

“What the hell?” I huff.

“It’s true and you know it, thanks to your reputation. Words don’t mean shit. You need to show this woman that you mean business through your actions. Consistent actions. She’s been burned by you before, right? She’s going to need to see that you’re different, no longer the playboy of the hockey world.”

I run a hand through my hair, lying back on the bench as I consider his words. He’s right, of course. Maya has every reason to be cautious thanks to my history with puck bunnies. Not tomention that I’ve hurt her. More than once. I left her twice when she needed me the most. Of course, she’s scared of me fucking up again like it’s a pattern.

“But what can I do?” I ask Luke, my voice tinged with desperation. “I want to show her that I’m all in, that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, first off, you need to be present. Not just with the physical shit, but emotionally. Be there for her and for your kid. Every time you say you’re going to do something, you follow through. Show her that you’re reliable now, that you’re the kind of man she can depend on.”

“I’ve been doing that,” I say, my voice tight. “But it feels like every time I take a step forward with her, she pushes me back two steps. I don’t know how to get through to her.”

Luke chuckles softly. “You’re not going to get through to her by rushing things. If she’s been hurt, then you’ve got to be patient. If you really want her back, you’re going to have to earn her trust all over again. And that’s not going to happen overnight or by making her come a few times.”

“Fuck.”

“Is this woman worth waiting for?”

---