Page 55 of Pucking Fate

“No. Although, I did consider having you come kick Christian’s ass for a few seconds this morning.”

“Seriously? What the fuck did he do?”

“Everything is fine now, I think,” I admit, leaning back against the kitchen counter with the phone pressed to my ear. “Yesterday, while Christian was babysitting for me to go to a job interview, he came out and told Finley that he’s his father. Then, he didn’t even give me a head’s up before he left the house last night!”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“And how did Finley take the news?” he asks.

“Well, he didn’t come out of his room last night. Then this morning he looked so pitiful when he came into the kitchen and asked me if it was true, catching me completely off-guard.”

Preston is silent for a moment, and I can practically hear him thinking on the other end of the line. “And you told him he was?”

“Yes,” I reply quietly, the weight of the question still hanging over me. “I told him the truth and explained that the reason Christian hadn’t been around was because he didn’t know he was his father until recently, the day he met Finley and gave him his jersey.”

“Well, it’s nice of you to take the blame off Christian, even though he spilled the beans before you were ready. Why have you been waiting?”

“I don’t know! I just…I wanted to make sure Christian understood how important this was and that he was all in.”

Preston sighs, and I can hear the rustle of him shifting in his chair. “Maya, just admit it. You were scared, right?

I roll my eyes, even though he can’t see me. “Of course I was scared. I wasn’t ready to deal with the fallout yet. I wanted Christian to prove that he was devoted to being here for Finley.”

“And he hasn’t done that by coming up to Bethesda, living out of a hotel, and seeing him every day of the summer?”

“I just don’t want Christian to break Finley’s heart like he broke mine.”

Preston’s voice softens when he says, “Look, I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be easy now that Finley knows the truth. It’s not. But you’ve already taken the first step by letting him be part of Finley’s life. I’m sure Christian will make an effort to see him and talk to him as much as he can during the season, too.”

“Yeah, I think you’re probably right about that.”

“So then, why do you sound so depressed?”

“Because…because now Christian is a part of my life, our life, forever and…it’s not easy to be around him.”

“Oh. You weren’t just scared for Finley’s sake. You were scared for yourself,” Preston mutters. “You still have feelings for him, don’t you?”

“I wish I didn’t, but the more time he spends here the worse it gets.”

“So, the real question is whether you’re going to take a chance on him as more than Finley’s father, right?”

I bite my lip, feeling the sting of those words. “I would love that. But I don’t know if I can trust him again in a romantic relationship. And if it ended badly, it would hurt Finley.”

“Trust isn’t about certainty, Maya,” Preston says gently. “It’s about taking a risk. Do you think Christian’s earned another chance with you or not? You know he’s earned the right to be Finley’s father in every way, so that just leaves one question. Has he earned back the right to be with you?”

I pause, thinking back to the nights we fooled around together, how he looked at me and worshipped me. Then, when he asked me to not just move to Greensboro but to move in with him. The old Christian would’ve probably run from the idea of such a huge commitment, not practically begged me for it.

“I think he has,” I admit quietly.

“Then maybe it’s time to follow your heart,” Preston says. “Not just for Finley, but for yourself.”

I close my eyes, letting his words sink in. “What if I get hurt again? What if we have a falling out and can’t stand to be in the same room again? How can we raise Finley together if we hate each other?”

Preston’s voice is firm but kind. “Finley didn’t know Christian was his father for weeks. I’m sure the two of you could give things another try without him realizing what’s happening. And you’ll never know unless you do exactly that—try.”

I swallow hard, feeling the tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “I’m just so tired, Preston. Tired of being strong when I’m so scared. Tired of not knowing what to do or what the future holds. It’s all great now, but how long could that happiness last?”

---