Page 88 of Pucking Fate

“You asked me to marry you?”

“Uh, yeah.” Reaching up, he rubs the back of his reddening neck. “I thought you should know that I was serious. I bought a ring right after I mailed the letter, you know, in case you said yes.”

“You bought me an engagement ring?” I whisper.

“Yep. It’s still in the little box in my kitchen junk drawer. You know, the one where everything that doesn’t have a place goes?”

He just referred to a diamond engagement ring as junk.

“Why didn’t you return it or sell it?” I ask him.

“Because that would’ve been giving up on you changing your mind, and that’s not something I’m capable of doing,” he says casually as he shoves his hands into his jean pockets. “You didn’t give up on me either or you would’ve dated and moved on by now.”

“I-I guess that’s true. Although, you obviously dated and moved on. More times than you can probably count.”

“Not because I stopped loving you! And I told you that wasn’t me moving on. It was me trying to ease the ache, even if it was only for a few minutes. Nothing more than temporary distractions that I fucking regret. Distractions that I can’t even remember because they weren’t you.”

For the first time, I actually believe him, that he loves me.

Maybe it’s because the old letters prove that he didn’t think we were just some whim he quickly moved on and forgot about. He loved me then and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He even said he wanted to be there for me during the pregnancy, and I shut him out.

I was just so scared and hurt by my parents that I think I took it out on Christian. Pushing him away meant avoiding more heartbreak.

Except, it didn’t work. I couldn’t stop thinking about him or loving him no matter how much time went by.

And I don’t want to waste another second of my life without him.

Tossing the letter onto the bed, I cross the space between us and grab the back of his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine.

If Christian is surprised by my sudden kiss, he doesn’t show it. His arms immediately wind around my waist, pulling me closer while his tongue eagerly meets mine.

“I need you…to finish what you started years ago,” I whisper against his lips.

“Here? Right now?” Pulling back enough to see my face, his blond eyebrows are raised.

“Yes,” I answer. “Right here. Right now. I’m tired of waiting.”

“Fuck yes,” Christian agrees.

Reaching behind him, he closes the door and fumbles around for the lock while still holding me, as if he’s afraid I’ll leave or change my mind.

36

Christian

As soon as the lock to Maya’s old bedroom turns, my fingers reach for the hem of her dress. Before I lift it, though, I ask her one last time. “Baby, are you sure you’re ready for this?”

She arches a brow, giving me a look that says, “Are you ready?” since I’m the one who messed up the first time. There’s a small smile on her lips that tells me I’m not completely off base.

“I’ve been ready for this moment for years,” she says lightly, though there’s a seriousness in her tone that makes it clear this is more than a joke.

“Me too,” I agree.

I’m not going to question her further about whether she’s ready or ask if she’s just looking for a distraction from her grief. I know it’s none of those things.

This is Maya looking at me like she loves me, like she trusts and believes me.

I’ve waited too long for her to look at me this way and can’t fathom allowing even an inch between us.

---