Page 93 of Pucking Fate

“Yeah, I guess he looks a lot like me, but I mostly just see his mom in his dark hair and eyes.”

Handing the phone back, he glares at me over the top of his glasses. “And who is his mother?”

“Maya. Maya Lawrence. Do you remember my friend Preston from the minor leagues? She’s his sister.”

“Why did you wait five years to man up and be the kid’s father?” he grumbles.

“Because I didn’t know about him until a few months ago!”

“Oh. Well, did she need money? Why wait so long to tell you that you have a son, that I have a grandson?”

“It’s…complicated. But no, she doesn’t want my money. I was angry at her when I first found out, for missing out on so much. But we didn’t end on great terms. There was a misunderstanding when she told me I got her pregnant. I didn’t think she was going to have him…”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve got your hands full.”

“I do. At least Preston and I are good now. He’s just been signed to play for the Bobcats. I’ve spent the summer up around D.C. to get to know Finley better. We threw him a birthday party at the Warhawks arena. It was great.”

“I bet it was, and yet you didn’t think to invite me.”

“Really, Dad? I can’t picture you at a five-year-old’s party in a hockey arena, especially one out of state when you hate leaving town.”

“He’s not just any five-year-old, though, is he? He’s my grandson.”

“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t invite you. We’re not exactly broadcasting to the world that he’s my son yet.” Again, I find myself apologizing to the prickly man because nothing I ever do is good enough for him. He thinks I’m still the same teenage fuck up who barely graduated high school because I spent all my time on the ice or with girls instead of studying. Nothing could be a bigger embarrassment for Dr. Michael Riley, the renowned philosophy professor.

“Why not tell the world? Are you ashamed of knocking up some poor girl and walking away from her?”

“Ashamed? No. I regret the time Maya and I have been apart. I wish I had known about Finley so that I could have helped her raise him. Maybe then she wouldn’t have had to give up on getting her degree and pursuing a career instead of being a single mom. At least Preston was there to help her. Her parents threw her out when she refused to marry me.”

“Marrying her is what you should’ve done as soon as you found out she was pregnant.”

Laughing even though his criticism is anything but funny, I stab my fingers through my hair, tugging on it as I tell him, “I would’ve married her in a heartbeat, but it’s not easy to get someone who doesn’t want you down the aisle. Maya broke up with me. She ended things, then I got signed with the Bobcats and moved…”

“I’m sure you gave her plenty of reasons for calling it quits. If you had been more mature and less selfish back then, maybe things would’ve been different with this girl.”

“Why do you do that? Why is everything my fault? Did I make a mistake in giving up too easily? Hell yes. But the rest was all her. I asked her to come live with me in Greensboro. I told her I would be there for her if she changed her mind. I even asked her to marry me. Unfortunately, she didn’t get those letters until the other day since they were forwarded to her parent’s house after she dropped out of college.”

“Letters? Son, you know you shouldn’t have trusted the postal service with something so important.”

“Well, since she wouldn’t take my call, return a text or voicemail, and didn’t want to see me face-to-face, the only other option I guess I could’ve tried was a sky writer.”

“Don’t be a smartass.”

Throwing my hands up in the air, I get to my feet and tell my father, “I give up. I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve tried to make you proud for twenty-six years and I’m just over it.”

“What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t I be proud of you?”

Pacing away with my hands on my hips, I say, “Oh, I don’t know, because you bitch about everything I do. I’m sorry hockey is the only thing I’ve ever been good at, that I’m not a genius like you.”

“You could’ve done better than risking your neck, literally, in hockey…”

Turning back to face him, I remind him, “I’m making millions of dollars a year doing what I love! I nearly won the championship this past season and am one of the best forwards in the goddamn league. I know that it’s not the career you would’ve picked for me, but tough shit. It’s whatIchose. And you can bet your ass that I’m going to let my son choose what he wants to do with his life and not make him ever feel less than me for a second.”

“You got into hockey for the wrong reasons, for the fame, the parties, the endless revolving door of women. All I wanted is for you to do more, to realize that there’s more to life than a fucking sport that could cripple you.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware that there’s more to life than hockey, now more than ever, when it feels like I’m being split down the middle, choosing that fucking sport over my family.”

“Then walk away.”

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