Page 38 of On Your Knees

“If it’s too much, we can cancel. Remember, this is all about what you want.”

“How do I know what he does and doesn’t want? And fuck, is this too stalkery?”

Zeland laughs. “He filled in the consent forms and has taken nothing off the table. He is willing to do anything. His safe word is ‘schwifty.’”

I snort, getting the reference since I startedwatching Rick and Morty out of curiosity, and I must admit it’s not bad.

“He really chose that? I guess we’ll see how it goes.”

“Do you want a safe word as well? That way you can stop this at any point. I’m here to keep you safe above all else—fucking you is just a bonus.”

I shake my head as I stand, walking over to the sink and washing out my mouth, then brushing my teeth. “I’ll be fine. My anxiety does this sometimes, makes me question things. I wish it would just leave me alone.”

“You just have to remember he signed up for this experience, and you’re not forcing him to do anything he doesn’t want. He holds the power; one word from him and it’s all over.”

“Maybe that’s why I’m scared. For as long as I can remember, I have always been the one in control. I call the shots because I leave no room for being walked out on again. For some reason, since I have met you, Arlo, and even Ridge, this is the first time I feel like I don’t want to run away. It scares the shit out of me. I haven’t had this before. I barely ever had friends, let alone something more.”

“I’m not going anywhere. If I was, I would have thrown you out after we screwed around. Even Ridge?—”

“Speak for yourself,” Ridge says, appearing in my bathroom doorway like freaking magic. “I never wanted her here. Remember, if it were up to me, she would have been pushed out the door after she woke up. But you’ve grown on me, stray, and it’s now not a complete displeasure to be aroundyou. Since Zeland has the organization skills of a toddler, I have had the carnival rigged with cameras, and the staff have all been sent on a work bonding trip for the night, funded by Zeland. The grounds are fully fenced, and they will be locked for the duration of your little competition. I will watch over everything through the security cameras, and if you hear a warning alarm, that means Zeland is to check his phone straight away and you will both be pulled out of there.”

“What about Arlo?” I ask.

“What about him? If you two are pulled out, it’s because he is a crazy pervert or something. And if you’re not comfortable with me watching things get heated?—”

I step closer to Ridge and grab his tie, tugging it so his face gets a little closer to mine. “I think we have already established I like you watching me, big guy. But I meant, if something goes wrong other than if he is a pervert, you get him out as well. He is my friend, and I don’t have many of those. I only have you three.”

“Fine, but we are not friends, stray.”

I chuckle and let go. “Okay, whatever you say to help you sleep better at night. But I know you like me.”

Zeland claps his hands. “Let’s get this show on the road. You look fucking hot, and your wig is all good. I have my hoodie and the masks in my car.”

Ridge moves from the doorway and both Zeland and I walk into my room. He is right. We are ready and I can do this. Arlo is my friend, and maybe if I give him this, he might truly see he is worthy of having whatever he wants.

I have never been to a carnival, especially one like this, with rides and a big-top tent. We could never afford to do things like this, not when my grandmother was struggling to keep a roof over our heads, and now the role is reversed.

The entire place is surrounded by temporary fencing covered with large yellow tarps. We are protected from anyone trying to peek inside. It makes me wonder how much Zeland paid to keep this place empty—actually, I think he is more excited than I am.

Once we clear the gates, he moves us to the side of the entrance into the shadows between two rides. “Lights are strategically turned on, so it’s bright enough to record. I’ve set a timer and have convinced Ridge to help with the countdown, since he plans to watch anyway.”

“Is it wrong that I love the idea of the moody bastard watching me?”

Zeland laughs. “No, knowing his eyes are on you is a turn-on. Before we start, I want to ask for your consent to touch you. Is there anything off the table?”

I think about it for a second. “We’re good, just don’t pull my hair—I can’t lose my wig.”

“Trust me, I can pull your real hair at home.”

I shiver at the thought. Never in my life have I wanted more than a one-night stand, as it meant giving someone the power to leave me. Yet day by day, Zeland is proving that unless I leave he isn’t going anywhere, and it’s a hard pill to swallow. He is handing me the power. Even Ridge might grumble about me being in his space, but he has never actually told me to leave.

Carnival music plays over the speakers, and I guess this is it.

“Step right up! Tonight the rules of the world no longer apply. Here, shadows hide the chaser, masks conceal faces, and excitement of the unknown waits around every turn. You didn’t come here by accident. The moment you stepped through these gates, you became the star of the show, the one we’ve been waiting for. Somewhere in the darkness, masked figures are watching... waiting.

“Will you run? Will you hide? Or will you surrender and let the night take you somewhere you never dared to go? The choice is yours. The fantasy is real. And if you run... there’s no turning back.”

Zeland hands me my mask. “You can talk. We have our best technology concealing our voices, and the one you just heard was Ridge. Touch the side of your mask and it will turn on, then touch it a second time to turn it off.”

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