Page 60 of On Your Knees

I find a seat and look around. This place is nice. I swear there used to be a bar here, but maybe I’m wrong. When the young guy brings over my drink, I ask him, andhe says it was called The Syllabus, but it was shut down not long ago.

I sit and drink my coffee while scrolling for jobs, but there is nothing as good as Ridgeland, though I don’t think anything would ever compare.

My phone alerts me to another email, and I must be a masochist because I open it.

Subject:No Response.

Arlo,

It’s past ten. I don’t appreciate being ignored.

You have fifteen minutes to explain yourself. In person. Don’t make me come find you.

Ridge Ellington

Chief Executive Officer

Ridgeland Enterprises

I scoff. As if he will be able to find me. Where will he look? At my house? Well, I’m not there and I’m clearly not at the office—that’s the end of the line for my known hang-out spots. I shut off my phone as the young guy comes over.

“You should try out the games here, on the house.”

He winks at me and I blush, then a wave of nausea hits me. I nod just so he will go away. Shit, I can’t even think of anyone hitting on me, not when it makes me think of Zeland.

The barista’s name is Heath, and he sets me up on acomputer and gives me one hour of access for free. He told me they have new games they are trialing here. I click on one and pull my headset over my ears, needing to lose myself in the game and forget about everything around me.

I barely hear the ding that tells me my hour’s up, just the faint sound of the café’s background noise mixing with the static of the game still in my ears. The screen has already faded to the menu, and my fingers have stopped twitching over the keys, but I just sit there, staring like I’m trying to lose myself in the monotony.

Large hands clamp down on my shoulders, and I flinch, then freeze as Ridge leans in, his breath brushing against my neck. He doesn’t say anything until he lifts one side of the headset off my ear like he owns every part of the space I’m occupying. “You didn’t show up.” His voice is low and hushed. Someone like him doesn’t want unnecessary attention. “I waited.”

I blink hard. My throat closing as he crouches next to the chair, his body radiating tension.

“I know you’re hurting. I get it, but the least you could do is hear Zeland and Aspen out. They’re hurting too. Just as much.”

I try to swallow down the lump, but it won’t budge. “They lied,” I whisper, barely audible. “They let me fall for them. All those nights, all my firsts, and they never told me the truth. Not until it was too late.”

Ridge doesn’t flinch; he just nods. “You have a week. Paid leave. After that, I expect you back at the office. If you don’t want a damn thing to do with any ofus, we’ll respect that.” He leans closer, his voice even softer now. “You earned your place there. Don’t let what happened take it from you.”

I shake my head, but my vision blurs, and I hate myself for my weakness. Tears slip past before I can stop them, and it’s humiliating. “They knew who I was,” I rasp. “And I didn’t even know who I was kissing. Who I was letting touch me. It wasn’t just a game—not for me.”

Ridge places the headset gently on the desk in front of me, then straightens. “It wasn’t a game for them either.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer, turning and walking away.

I sit there in the blue glow of the café, crying into my hands while the menu screen loops, the vision hazed by my tears.

How could it not have been a game?

I’m frozen, numb, the weight of Ridge’s words pressing down on me. They’re hurting too. That’s fucking rich. They knew—the whole fucking time, they knew who I was. Aspen sat next to me at work, shared coffees and inside jokes. Zeland laughed at the stupid memes I hesitantly sent back in reply to his flirty emails. He smirked when I would stutter at his flirting in person. And Ridge—he may have been cold, unreadable, but he watched everything, as if he masterminded this entire thing.

All the while, they were the ones behind the masks.

Chasing me. Touching me like they already owned me.

They took everything.

All my firsts. It was the first time I ever trusted someone with my body. My submission, my fantasies. All of it I gave freely to these masked strangers, who were never really strangers at all.

God, I would’ve saved those moments. I would’ve waited if I knew. I would’ve made them real. Not part of some twisted fantasy they let me believe was anonymous.

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