Page 63 of On Your Knees

It was a long day and I’m grateful when I finally walk into the house. It’s quiet and I wonder if they are still in bed. I should have checked, but I am trying to give them some space. If I have learned anything from this, it’s that they need to do this on their own. This is one problem I can’t fix for them or make go away, though seeing them sad makes me want to, but I have interfered enough.

I hear faint laughter, and I follow the sound until I get to the game room. As I open the door, Zeland turns his head and smiles, then he pushes up from the beanbag and meets me at the door.

“What’s going on here?”

“He is playing with her. He won’t speak, but they are playing together. This means something, doesn’t it?”

I shrug. “Don’t read too much into it—maybe the guy misses his friend. They played together every single day. Aspen told us he shared a lot with her.”

“What should we do?”

I grab his arm and pull him from the room. “We shouldn’t do anything. Give him time to come to you. And let them have this moment.”

Zeland grabs my head and his mouth crashes against mine like he’s starving for me, like I’m the only thing he wants to taste.

I have missed this, missed him. The scrape of his stubble is rough against my skin, sharp enough to burn, yet soft enough to make me need more. It drags along the edges of my lips and the tip of my nose as he deepens the kiss, his hands fisting in the back of my shirt, pulling me in like he can’t get close enough. I moan into his mouth. The kiss is messy, desperate, and hot.

“I love you so fucking much,” he whispers against my lips.

Aspen might have gotten me to open up about my feelings, but I haven’t said it since. “I love you too.”

He wastes no time ripping my shirt from my slacks and tearing it open, the buttons scattering everywhere. His mouth is back on mine a second later—damn, I missed his taste. I kiss him back harder, my hands sliding beneath his T-shirt, my palms flat against his back as I shove the fabric up, desperately needing to feel his skin. He breaks the kiss only long enough to pull it over his head, and then we’re stumbling down the hallway toward my bedroom, mouths clashing and breaths heavy.

Halfway there, he pushes me back against the wall, biting at my lower lip, and I growl, grabbing his hips and dragging him forward. Every step is a tug... a kiss... the pulling off of more clothes. By the time we hit my doorframe, we’re both undressed and completely lost in each other. His hands are in my hair, mine are roaming everywhere. Neither of us kick the door closed as we step inside—we stopped doing that when Aspen joined our relationship.

I know the exact moment when this stopped being asituationship of convenience and moved to a relationship; it was the second I admitted how I felt. Even if I still don’t fully believe in love and fairy-tale endings, I know if Zeland walked away tomorrow, my entire world would crumble.

Zeland pulls back from my lips and pushes against my chest. As I fall back onto my bed, he straddles my waist, pressing kisses to my jaw.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he whispers as he kisses lower down my neck, sucking on my skin.

Normally I wouldn’t let him mark me, but with how desperate we are for each other, I let him suck and nip his way down my body, enjoying how he makes me feel.

“Will you let me fuck you?” he asks.

Most of the time, I am the one who tops him. I’m not a huge fan of bottoming, but in times like this—when I’m so turned on—I let him take what he needs. My nod makes him smile against my abs and he reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out the bottle of lube, squirting some onto his fingers. He leans down and licks my cock as his fingers find my ass. Slowly he pushes inside me and I moan—fuckthat feels good. My lack of bottoming has less to do with not liking it and more to do with giving up control. It’s not something I have ever trusted anyone with, but right now, I trust him with my whole damn heart.

His fingers slide in and out of me, torturously slow.

“Fuck me already,” I growl, and he laughs as he pulls his fingers out.

“Needy much?” He smirks as he pulls mylegs up and pushes them against my chest. He positions himself, pushing his cock against me, the burn welcome.

Zeland thrusts inside me, his tense abs making my mouth water, and every time his hips move, pleasure makes my cock leak precum. He likes to mess with me—in this position, I can’t stroke myself as he fucks me, and he knows it.

His blue eyes stare down at me, consuming me, and once their intensity used to scare me with how much love and adoration they held. In this moment, he’s not fucking me; this is the first time we’re making love, and he knows it. He moves onto his knees and pulls my legs down, bracing a hand beside my head, then he leans in and his breath brushes over my lips. I can’t look away. Those eyes have me pinned more than his weight ever could, and I feel the way he takes his time. This isn’t just about lust, but about claiming every part of me—parts I swore no one could reach.

When his lips capture mine, his movements get slower. If this is how love feels, maybe it’s not so bad. The world is left at the door and it’s only us.

“Oh fuck!” I grit out when I come, the stickiness captured between our bodies as he continues fucking me through my orgasm and into his own.

When he’s done, he pulls out and falls down beside me, and I pull him into my arms. The only thing that could make this moment better walks into the room with a smile on her face. She doesn’t say anything, just walks into my en suite and comes back out wearing one of my shirts, which keep disappearing, but I know it’s herstealing them. She climbs onto the bed and hands Zeland a warm washcloth, then slips in behind me and wraps her arm around my stomach.

“Thank you,” she whispers against my skin.

“For what?” I ask.

“You know what, and thank you.”

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