Page 55 of Press Play

“And I’m ending it.” He cuts in before I can rebut. He places himself between us, and I smirk at her from behind his back. “Was there something you needed, Amanda?”

Redirecting her attention toward Theo, what comes out of her mouth leaves me grasping for support.

“I want to do another video.”

I’m dreaming. That’s the only thing I can think of. Nothing else can explain the feeling of falling and never hitting the ground. How else can I explain why my heart plummets into the floor before my stomach does? I would laugh at myself if I were alone because I’m a damn fool.

“And why on earth would I do that?” he groans.

“Can we talk in the other room? Please?” Amanda sighs, batting her long eyelashes.

Theo glances at me, then at Amanda. With a sigh of defeat, he nods toward his room, and she happily obliges.

When the door shuts, my breathing quickens. Theo was wrong. I may have been the one to initiate the argument, but she was the one who ended it.

Locking myself in my room, I stare at my reflection in a floor-length mirror. I used to be so small. While there aren’t many photos of me from 2009-2010, the few that do exist haunt me. How did my parents not believe I was sick?

She’s skin and bones!

And I was, with my hallowed cheeks, dark circles under my eyes, practically concave stomach, and no muscle mass. Fatigue and pain became part of my day-to-day life, and I thought it was normal.Shelet me believe it was normal.

I take my shirt off and squeeze the extra skin on my hips, examining how my stomach slightly bulges out. My doctors would praise me for going from malnourished to a healthy weight, but they don’t have to deal with my self-image problems. They aren’t looking at my reflection and thinking, “Her thighs are twice the size they were ten years ago.” Or “Her breasts grew four cups.” Whereas I do, and I find myself comparing myself to women like Amanda.

Theo has a type. I’ve seen the other women in the thumbnails of his videos. I won’t go down that rabbit hole, though. I havesomedignity left.

I’ll never be thin as a rail, and I don’t want to be. It would remind me of the days when I couldn’t stand without blacking out or eat without dealing with a stomachache. I always wanted to be able to care for myself, and I have been.

For once, I should be proud, so how come I’m not?

Chapter Twenty-Two

Theo

I had her;she was in the palm of my hand until Ms. Impeccable Timing showed up. Younger Theo would have jumped at the chance to sleep with her again, but I’m not the same man I was before. Hell, I’m not even sure I was a man.

When I close the door, she asks, “Is that the girl from the other day? Why is she still here?”

In case I needed the point proven again. . .

“I already told you: Wren lives here.”

“But why?” She pushes.

“I don’t need a reason. I want her here, end of story.”

“Whatever. Do you want to make a video or not?”

“I don’t,” I answer without needing time to think. “I told you. I’m not recording anything other than solo videos right now.”

And I’ve barely done that. If I’m not with Wren, I’m too busy thinking of her. After recording so many videos over the course of nine years, sex became boring. Sure, the orgasms were the same, but it was harder to get off each time. I lost the desire. . . until Wren asked me to help her.

And then we kissed. I hadn’t felt like that in years, and she did it with one touch. The curves on that woman are insane. When I felt them as we danced in the kitchen, it took all mywillpower not to get an erection. She’s unlike any woman I’ve been with, and I can safely say I’ve never wanted anyone more than I do her.

“That’s ridiculous,” Amanda states, forcing me back into reality. “Why would you do that?”

Shrugging, I say, “I don’t want to.”

“Is it becauseshe’shere?” She points behind her.

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