Page 51 of Midnight Wishes

Alex raised his eyebrows at his brother. He was really supposed to believe he hadn’t told her? A quick shake of Erik’s head confirmed it, but a questioning look replaced his expression almost immediately. And admirable as it was that he hadn’t already spilled to the woman beside him, Alex knew it was only a matter of time. Furthermore, Alex lying to both of them was one thing. Expecting his brother to lie to his fiancée was quite another.

Alex nodded, one tiny jerk of his head.

‘We were talking about Sarah…’ Erik started slowly.

‘And how Alex is screwing her?’ Abby said brightly, pulling a few slices onto her plate. When he looked up in shock, she rolled her eyes. ‘I’m self-absorbed, not blind. You know she was wearing your jumper this morning?’

‘Why is everyone so hung up on the fucking jumper?’ Alex muttered.

‘I’ve lived with Sarah for seven years. I know every item in her wardrobe, and two hundred pounds of cashmere is definitely a new addition. Plus it’s the same one you gave Erik in blue.’

‘It’s cute that you still call it mine,’ Erik said, turning his head to kiss her hair.

‘I think we both agreed it looked better on me. But it’s only fun to wear if it belongs to you.’

Alex turned away from the look of sheer adoration they exchanged. For twenty-five years, he had managed to regardAbby and Erik’s codependency with everything from amusement to contempt to—at times—utter desolation. But since that lifelong pretence at friendship had finally given way to romance, he’d been experiencing something new: envy. Seeing them together was altogether less painful than watching them deny their feelings for each other, but a new pain came along with it. For the first time in his life, he had a front row seat to the peace and bliss that came from being part of a perfect pair. And he craved it.

‘Also, she gets really cagey any time I mention you,orask about the guy she’s seeing. You’ve both become weirdly interested in where we’re sleeping at night. And I maaay have seen a text from you pop up when she gave me her phone to order food on Tuesday.’

Alex couldn’t remember the last time he’d blushed, but he actually felt heat rise from his neck to his cheeks as he asked, ‘What, uh, did the text say?’ Tuesday, night of the voice note that had kept him company multiple times since, had seen the exchange of some particularly suggestive texts, and more than one photo he wouldn’t want the woman who for all intents and purposes was his sister to see.

‘You asked if she could come over after eleven. And there’s no innocent reason for that.’ Abby shrugged.

Alex exhaled a sigh of relief. It could have been so much worse. Sarah had said no to coming over—she’d needed to catch an early train the next morning so she could drop off Maurice’s portrait—but the conversation that followed had been significantly less innocent than his initial request.

‘You don’t mind that we’re sleeping together?’

‘Aleksander.’ He marvelled at the difference in hearing his full name from Abby versus Sarah. It was spoken in the same annoyingly patient tone, but where this one had his hackles rising, the other sent his body into sweet relaxation. ‘I’m a PhD student. Apart from the class I teach and my after-school tutoring sessions, my schedule is quite flexible. And even if it wasn’t, do you really think I couldn’t arrange flowers with a phone call? The invitations with a few emails?’

That was…the furthest thing from what he’d expected. ‘You weretryingto set us up?’ he asked, at the same time Erik said, ‘Why didn’t you tellmeabout this?’

‘Oh, my love,’ she said, brushing Erik’s cheek, ‘you are the light of my life, but I couldn’t risk your abysmal lying skills ruining this if one of them caught on and asked you. As for you’—she turned back to Alex—‘my whole life, you’ve been the guy who’s always happy and bubbly and the life of the party. But since we’d been spending more time together, I noticed you didn’t really seem like yourself anymore.’

Because yeah, being the loud, upbeat party boy was what he was. What he had been almost since he hit puberty. Because when his parents had discovered his brother’s sensitivity issues, their house had become a quiet, tranquil haven, free of anything that could trigger panic in Erik. They hadn’t realised they were sending their other son, with his constant (though as yet unseen) need for stimulation, spiralling. So when the peace of his home made him slowly start crawling out of his skin, he’d found the excitement that he thrived on—that he’dneededin order to keep going—elsewhere. In house parties and booze and girls. As he’d grown older, he’d learned to manage things better, and thepartying and drinking and screwing became less of a crutch and more a moderate indulgence. Then finally, the year before, that doctor had given it a name and a prescription, and the lifeline of meds that helped balance him enough that he didn’t need to seek constant thrills anymore. So he’d retreated from his old life: chasing fewer women, spending less time doing shots in clubs and more time slowly sipping whiskey or wine in an art gallery. And of course, he had shared none of that with the people in front of him.

He still had his occasional nights out with the work crowd out of necessity. His firm was a boys’ club, and drinking together was paying your dues. But he’d started slipping away earlier, and normally alone. The night he’d first met Sarah, he’d been ten minutes away from leaving. But after that kiss, all he’d wanted was more of the pretty girl in the purple dress.

‘And Sarah… She needed something to make her feel good this year,’ Abby continued. ‘You seemed interested in her that first time we had dinner. So I figured with a nudge, you two could help each other have some fun. Then she said she was seeing someone, and she bravedCentralto see them on a Friday night, which made me suspicious enough, but her not punching you in the throat when you called her Princess did slightly confirm things.’

‘What happened to not breaking any of your friends’ hearts?’ The comment that had made Sarah so set on secrecy.

‘Tell me it didn’t make you desperate to do exactly what I was asking you not to,’ she said, before stuffing half a slice of pizza into her mouth. After she swallowed, she continued, ‘Besides,it’s not like either of you are strangers to casual. It seemed safe enough.’

Alex looked away. Huffed. Rolled his jaw and tried not to think about how far from casual he’d strayed.

‘Oh. Oh, Alex.’ When he could bring himself to look up, he found her eyes wide and sympathetic as she read the torment on his face. ‘Have you told her?’

And try as he might to keep the bitterness from his voice, it bled into every word. ‘That would very much be breaking the limitations of ourcasualagreement not to catch feelings. And I certainly don’t want you mentioning it. Hell, I don’t even think she particularly likes me outside of sex.’

‘I don’t know about that.’ Abby’s words came slowly, her face screwed into a thoughtful expression. ‘These past few weeks, she’s been singing while she paints. She only does that when she’s really, really happy. I don’t even know if she’s realised she’s doing it. It’s been a long time. Has she spoken to you about her last relationship at all?’ Alex shook his head. ‘It was an ugly breakup. It left her and her confidence hurting for a long time, but lately… She’s almost back to her old self. I thought it was just because things were going so well with her art, but maybe it’s bigger than that. Maybe it’sthis. You.’

It couldn’t be true. Letting himself believe he had that much impact on her happiness was far too dangerous. The weight of hoping would drag him under if it didn’t bear fruit soon.

‘I’m carrying a lot of this pep talk alone.’ Abby was somehow still talking. ‘Would you like to weigh in here?’ she asked, turning to Erik.

He looked up from his dinner, eyes drowsy. ‘You two are coming dangerously close to bonding. I thought I’d leave you to it.’

Alex scoffed. Abby pursed her lips as she turned back to him. ‘Like I said, she’s been hurt. If you want her to see you care about her, you’re going to have to show her it’s not just sex for you.’

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