Page 66 of Midnight Wishes

‘I promise, the extra rent will be less painful than living with you two as newlyweds,’ Sarah said dryly, and immediately regretted it. If the interview went well, in little over a week,she might be having this conversation again, and it would be a million times easier if they were choosing to stay in the flat.

Her heart turned as she considered the changes coming in the following months. She and Abby had been little more than kids when they’d met, eighteen and fresh-faced. Now her friend was getting married, and Sarah suspected kids of Abby’s own weren’t far on the horizon. A lifetime had passed since that first day in their uni halls, and no time at all.

‘Erik?’

He turned back to her, raking a hand through his perpetually messy hair. A few new strands popped up in its wake.

‘How did you know? With Abby?’

It took him a second to parse her meaning. Then that smile came back, that wide, beaming grin she’d never seen him wear when talking about anything else. ‘You know I can’t answer that.’

Because they’d fallen in love slowly, over the course of a childhood, too subtly to realise what was happening and too young to understand. By the time each of them had faced their feelings, they were too far gone to pinpoint the moment they’d begun.

Sarah sighed. Nodded. Then asked, ‘Okay, well, how do you knownow? You wake up in the morning—what in you tells you you love her?’

Curiosity filled Erik’s face. Curiosity, and a glint of something she’d seen that night Alex had called herPrincessin front of him. A glint of something that should have made her panic more than it did. When Abby wasn’t around to absorb all his attention, he really was uncomfortably perceptive. ‘What’s this about?’

‘Humour me.’

Erik leaned back, stretching his long legs in front of him. ‘I’m assuming you want something a little more concrete thanI just know.’ Sarah waited, and that smile came back, brilliant, still, but softer now. ‘I know because she’s the first person I think of in any situation. If something bad happens, she’s where I’ll find comfort. If something good happens, I want to share it with her. If someone tells a joke or shows me a stupid picture, I think about if she’d laugh at it. I know because I’ve spent my whole life struggling to fall asleep, but if she’s there, it’s safe and easy. And if she’s not, even unconscious, my body doesn’t feel right when it’s not close to hers. I know because even though nothing calms me like she does, I never feel more alive than when she’s by my side. Because even when things are hard, they’re a little easier knowing I’ll face them with her. She’s my peace and my strength, and I don’t want a single moment where she’s not by my side.’ He looked at her, so, so in love. ‘Does that help?’

She thought about Thursday morning, when she’d considered texting Alex the second her painting was finished, wanting to share it with him. How easy it had been to turn to him after Gregg had been…well, Gregg, knowing he was a safe place to land. How she’d expected to find his closeness suffocating when he’d slung an arm over her, but had instead found sleeping with him deeply soothing. How she’d thought sex with him was the most enjoyable way she’d ever found to pass her time, until it was exceeded by spending time with him outside of bed.

While she mused, her eyes fell on the man consuming her thoughts, where he stood at the bar, tattoos spilling out of his rolled sleeves and smile wide as he chatted to one of Erik’s friends. Wide, yes, but…off. Uncomfortable in its symmetryand not quite reaching the eyes she now regularly dreamed of. She considered how only a few weeks before, she would have believed that smile. Would have thought he was having the time of his life. Now she could see it for the performance it was. And she found herself wishing for half a glimpse of the real thing.

Fuck.

‘If you haven’t written your speech yet, that’s a pretty good start,’ she said, voice tight.

It was clear she was fooling no one when her eyes came back to Erik’s, and she found that curiosity softening into understanding. ‘Sarah, I know it’s none of my business, but—’

‘Then don’t ask.’ Her voice was free of any bite, gentler than her words suggested.

He stared at her for a few more seconds, then nodded and stood. ‘I know I’m not Abby,’ he said slowly, ‘but I’d like to think we’re friends. If you ever want to talk, I know a thing or two about pining.’ He touched her shoulder gently, then made his way across the room, something pulling him towards his fiancée seconds before she reappeared.

By the time they were dancing again, close and largely inappropriate, his seat had been taken by Zoe.

‘Oh shit,’ she said. ‘I know that face. Spill.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ But Sarah turned to hide her face all the same, knowing her friend likelycouldsee the longing and devastation written there.

Zoe tried again. ‘How much have you not told me?’

Sarah stayed quiet, arms folded.

‘Hun,’ Zoe said quietly. ‘What happened?’

After another minute of silence, Sarah turned and let it all pour out. The way Alex’s facade had slowly begun to slip around her, revealing his true self, bit by beautiful bit. How she’d drowned herself in every little piece of him he’d offered, offering up fragments in return. The turning point the previous night, when he’d been so open with her at dinner—telling her the truth of what happened with his ex—then protective at the gallery, and not so gentle back at his place. Those little moments of softness and vulnerability he’d let her see. And then…that shower. Their moment in front of the mirror. Him taking her to bed.

‘I spent the night. I’ve never spent the night. We’ve neverslepttogether. And it was…’

‘Good?’ Zoe offered.

‘Perfect,’ Sarah corrected. ‘Then this morning…he was cooking breakfast for me—and he’s always so put together, right?—but he was all rumpled and sweet andboyfriendy.’

‘None of this is sounding bad…’ Zoe said slowly.

‘He wasn’t supposed to be boyfriendy!’ Sarah whined, reining her volume in just enough that her voice wouldn’t carry. ‘I wanted mindless pleasure. When I met him, he was this obnoxious jock with a hot body he was happy for me to use, but then…then he let me in. He’s— Fuck, Zo, he’s soft and kind and funny, and I—’ She faltered, her voice coming back quieter. Defeated. ‘I definitely have feelings for him.’

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