Page 36 of Happily Undead in Dark River

A woman who looked nothing like Brody wandered past, a crying baby in her arms and two kids hanging off her ankles screaming about something. She huffed out a frustrated sigh, and I totally commiserated. I must have made something that resembled a sympathetic noise, because she looked me up and down, then handed me the baby. I took it automatically, and the whole party screeched to a stop. Everyone stared at me like they were waiting for me to devour the child whole.

“Arla… ” someone said hesitantly, unwilling to be the one who finished the sentence.

The harassed mother picked up one screaming toddler from her ankle and put it on her cocked hip. “What? It’s not like she is going to eat my baby. Get a grip, people.” She turned to me, her eyebrows drawn together in a deep frown. “You aren’t going to eat her, are you?” she asked so softly that no one else could hear.

My eyes were impossibly wide and I clutched the baby like it was made of glass or something. I was worried I might break it, but I definitely did not want to eat it. “No!”

The woman smiled. “Good. Her name is Ellie. Don’t eat her.” Then she was gone with the screaming toddler, and another boy not much older clinging to the back of her shirt. I looked down at the baby, who had huge brown eyes and hair that looked like a bad politician’s combover. I looked up, and everyone was still watching me. I looked back down and waved a finger. “Uh, hey Ellie. I’m Raine.”

The baby blinked. But it didn’t cry. I took that as a win. Everyone pretended to get on with the dinner festivities, but I could feel their collective gaze watching my every twitch. I could have told them I had about as much inclination to drink from an innocent baby as I had to gnaw off my own leg. Actually, I was probably more likely to gnaw off my own leg first.

Finally, Brody came over, gave everyone the stink eye, but smiled at me. As if on cue, the party went back into full swing. Apparently, with the Alpha close at hand to stop me if I decide to go full infanticidal, they could relax back into what they were doing. I felt like I’d passed a test, but when the baby started to squirm, I began to panic that I’d drop her. I mean, she’d never hit the ground because I had reflexes that mothers and ninjas could only dream of, but still babies got things like whiplash and all sorts of weird things because they were basically a bag of bones that were hardly fused together. Like what the hell was with the soft spot on their head? Who’s design idea was it that babies should come out with their most important organ completely unprotected?

“She wants to be up on your shoulder. She’s active, even for her age. Wants to see what's going on,” Brody said softly as he shifted the baby so she was up on my shoulder, and I supported her with one arm under her butt and on her back, clutching her to my chest like a stiff wind might blow her on the ground. I took a deep breath. “She smells nice,” I said softly.

Another record scratch in the party as everyone picked up my words with their shifter hearing. “I don’t mean like that! I mean she smells like baby powder and new car smell or something.”

Geez. These people were nuts.

Brody laughed and took a big inhale. “Yeah, that baby scent. They grow out of it eventually and smell like poop and fermented apple sauce all the time.”

I screwed my nose up at him, and he laughed.

The harassed mother finally reappeared, the toddler no longer crying but with a bottle in his mouth, and the kid had a drink in a sippy cup. She passed the toddler to Brody and put her hands out for the baby.

“Thanks for that. Don’t mind them, they just have preconceived notions. I get a good vibe about you though.” She winked, and wandered away, leaving the drinking toddler in Brody’s arms. Brody told me people's names, what they did, where they came from, all the family gossip as we stood around under that tree. I’d never remember all the names or even half the faces, but it was still nice to be immersed in a family again, even if it wasn’t my own. Brody held the wiggling toddler like a pro, bouncing him until his eyes began to droop and he started to doze on Brody’s shoulder. Eventually, a man, still dressed in construction gear from whatever his job was, appeared and took the sleepy toddler from Brody’s arms. “Raine, this is my younger cousin, Tye. He’s Annie’s brother. Tye, this is Raine, my Mate.”

Okay. I thought there was silence when people thought I was going to eat the baby was bad, but that was nothing in comparison to the crickets that were creating the audio track to that little statement. Tye, bless him, shifted the toddler into one arm and reached out to shake my hand. “Nice to meet you, Raine. Hope we get to see you more at these shindigs now that Brody isn’t trying to hide you away up in his love nest.”

Tex appeared from somewhere, two beers in his hand. He passed one to Tye, and the other to me. “Hey, I live in that love nest too.”

Tye just laughed and took a big swig of his drink. “I rest my case. Hey, have you seen my delicious mate anywhere?”

I pointed to some outdoor benches where she was feeding sausages and burgers to the kids. Another three had appeared from the woodwork. Brody laughed and pointed at the brood of kids. “You better look into getting that vasectomy, or you are going to wake up one day at the vets completely neutered.”

Tye looked a little green as he laughed good-naturedly, going over to help his wife with their seven billion kids.

“This is why I'm not worried about having kids. If there isn’t a future Alpha somewhere in this mob, then they are doing their job wrong.” The tribe of kids running around had formed their own little pack dynamic, and now that Brody had mentioned it, I could see their different levels of dominance. There were the kids that were the ring leaders, the ones who followed, the bullies and the ones that picked up the little kids when they fell down. Their own little microcosm of Pack Politics.

Dinner was a potluck, help yourself kind of affair, and eventually, everyone stood around balancing disposable plates in one hand and a beer in the other, chatting and talking. It felt like home, like the parties of my teenage years with my parents. Especially with Tex by my side. I slowly relaxed and chatted with Annie about where she was going to school, what she wanted to do when she got older. She lamented that she couldn’t eat cake and cheese fries and remain hot forever. I envied her tan and the fact she could run in the sun. I guess the grass is greener either side of the sunset.

Eventually, families wandered off with tired, full-bellied and insanely grubby kids, and then the singles wandered out in search of more thrilling entertainment or to binge Netflix. I ran around at super-speed, cleaning up the trash, and putting things back in order.

“Well, she halves clean-up time, and for that, she has my vote,” Annie announced, pouring another glass of wine and offering me one. All that was left of the party was Brody, Tex and me, as well as Annie, Kelly, and Nell obviously. There was also an assortment of elderly faces that I recognized from the dais the other night. The town Elders. Well, a few of them anyway.

Nell waved me over to where she was sitting.

“How are you feeling after the incident?”

It took a little bit for me to figure out she meant being almost shot. “Oh, I’m fine. It's not the first time someone has tried to kill me this year. Actually, if you think about it like that, someone has already killed me this year, so a little knick on my ear hardly counts.”

Nell laughed like I’d just made the funniest joke ever. “I like you, girl. I can see why Brody is so fond of you.” Nell pet my arm gently. “Be that as it may, we sincerely regret that this has happened while you are a guest within our lands. Being a guest in a Shapeshifter’s Pack used to mean something, and our word on your safety meant something too. But so often these days the younger generation are losing touch with the old traditions that allowed us to thrive in even the direst of conditions.” She shook her head sadly. “Change is inevitable, and good for the Pack. But the loss of our morals, our ethics, shouldn’t be one of those changes. It smells like a disaster, and I think you may just be the herald.”

I bit my lip, worrying at it with my teeth. “I didn’t mean to? If you want, I can find somewhere else to stay? Brody said there was a bear cave around here somewhere,” I joked to lighten the mood.

Nell laughed. “Bear shifters are funny creatures. Huge and playful, but get on their wrong side and you will rue the day you were born.” Holy shit! Bear shifters. Brody might not have been joking at all when he said they were great spooners. I was going to ask! “No, Child. You are the Alpha’s Mate, and they will have to come to terms with that. The Ancestors have chosen you as part of our Alpha Pair, and that means we will need you soon enough. But until everyone comes to terms with the fact, we will beef your security when the Alpha isn’t around. Annie and Kelly, of course, but they have their own jobs. We will give you one of our Protectors too. Our version of Enforcers, I would reckon.”

She let out a high pitched whistle and this huge man appeared from nowhere. Like he was just part of the porch, then just stepped from the woodwork. I leaped away and towards Brody, who chuckled.

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