Page 29 of Serendipity

She didn’t even let out a peep when I placed her on my bed. I tucked her in, pushed her hair off her face. The whole thing felt too intimate. Too much. But I couldn’t help myself. What was it about this woman that fucking had me cut off at the knees so quickly?

She’d closed her eyes, and I breathed out through my teeth. “Want to tell me what happened?”

She shook her head. I had to know though.

“Did Judas hurt you?” I’d hurt him right back if he had. I would return that shit sevenfold.

Her eyelashes fluttered open. “He kissed me.”

I would have been less shocked if she’d slapped me. “Did he force himself on you?” I couldn’t believe it.

“No!” she said quickly, some of her spirit coming back. “No, I kissed him back. I wanted it.

Wanted him.”

I let out a long, relieved breath. “Thank God.” I tilted my head at her, trying to see past her sadness. “Then why are you crying?”

Apparently, pointing out she was crying was the wrong fucking thing to do because she just cried harder. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I stroked her hair, mumbling dumb, reassuring shit and making promises I probably couldn’t keep.

Anything to stop her from crying. Finally, I hummed the lullaby my mother sang to me. It was in Russian, so I couldn’t sing the words, but it soothed something dark and terrible in my soul. I could still imagine my Mother as she did this to me as a boy, stroking my hair and singing in her lilting accent. Her favorite colour was bottle green and she always wore too many bracelets. She was fiery and strong, but my father made her weak. He’d taught her how to break, and she did it with such ease that eventually she’d laid down one day and let his fist put her down like an unwanted dog.

She hadn’t fought for me, but damn I missed her still.

Sera had exhausted herself, and I didn’t want to move. She might wake up and start again. I needed to talk to Sweetie. Was she supposed to be this heartbroken? Was she supposed to cry like that? It couldn’t be good for her or the baby.

The urge to lie down beside her, to curl her body into mine, was like a physical punch to the chest. The smudge of her eyelashes against her high cheekbones, the way her bottom lip jutted out slightly in her sleep, it was like she was made to tempt me. Instead of giving in, I slowly slid from the bed and moved across to the closet.

I pulled the extra blanket down from the top shelf and threw it down on the ground by the door. If Judas came in, I’d be in the perfect position to punch him in the balls. I let my eyes close, let the memory of my mother's voice in my head and the soft hush of Sera’s breathing lull me to sleep like my new favorite lullaby.

THE GENTLE BRUSH of a boot to my chest woke me with a start. My hand struck up and wrapped around the ankle, making someone fall against the door with a huff. By the time I had enough brain cells to tell me that the ankle I was holding was small and delicate, and that there was no boot just a soft, bare foot, Sera was looking down at me wide eyed.

“What, not even going to say goodbye?” I teased softly, and a small smile curled her lips. Her eyes were still puffy and red, but she wasn't crying anymore and I sent up a small thank you to whoever the patron saint of hormones was.

She waved a hand. “Oh, you know my type. Hit it and quit it,” she joked back. I was desperately trying not to look at her long, bare legs which seemed neverending from my position on the floor. I was really, really trying to be a gentleman and not stare up her shirt at the tiny little booty shorts that were the only thing separating me and my dream of pulling her down on my face right now and feasting on her pussy.

My dick though, he never pretended to be a gentleman. I was getting harder than rebar and soon she was going to notice. I sat up, but I kept my fingers wrapped around her ankle, keeping her still.

Fuck, now I was the perfect height to sling one of those perfect long legs over my shoulder and bury my face in the middle of her thighs. Shit.

I sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in one long, hot breath. It fanned over the front of her thighs, and I felt her body go rigid through her damn ankle. It was like every muscle in her body locked.

“Cain?” she whispered.

I struggled to keep my body loose and easy. “Yeah?”

She let out a whispy breath. “I’m a fucking disaster.”

My eyes shot from her thighs to her face. “What?” Did I misread this whole damn thing? Solomon was right, my seduction skills were getting rusty.

“I’m a mistake. Cursed even. From the day I was born, I’ve been a screw up of literally biblical proportions. I was meant to die, and sometimes I wonder if the universe is fucking with me to right the balance. Any man I’ve ever loved has died. Any friend I’ve ever had has turned against me eventually. But I could always depend on myself, depend on my mind, and now I feel like I’m losing that too, and I’m so fucking scared.”

I wanted to protest. I wanted to drag her into my arms, wrap my body around hers and promise we would never turn against her. But she stilled me with a wave.

“I’m also fucking selfish. Out of control. I need an anchor and an outlet for this rage that seems to be burning me up inside. For the lust that seems to crawl over my skin whenever I see-” she stumbles over her words and I hold my breath. “Whenever I see you. Or Solomon. Or Judas. Even when I see Goliath. That’s how I know I’m really fucking losing it because that man would rather break me then befriend me. I basically threw myself at Judas last night and now he hates me. I want nothing more than to sit down on your lap right now and fuck you until I can’t see straight.” Shit, the blood was rushing in my ears, and my brain had shortcircuited on the way her lips formed the word fuck, but those lips were still moving. “But it’s wrong. I won’t use you guys like that. You’ve given me a haven and I’m not going to fuck it up because I’m a disaster that can’t get her hormones under control.”

I gaped like a fucking fish as she stepped over me, opened the door and walked out. I felt like I was always a step behind with Sera. Always knocked on my ass, wondering what the fuck just happened.

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