Page 61 of Providence

“So you’re saying that no one else knows about Madoc and Sera?” Judas said softly. His soft voice was honestly more terrifying than when he yelled. It made all the hairs on my arms stand on end. He’d come in from the battlefield out front, completely clean of blood. It was like he’d just stepped out of the shower. However, when the female angel had trailed in behind him, she’d been bathed in blood, right down to her teeth. It had dripped from her chin, and she’d grinned. I’d have fucking nightmares about that.

Scott Burns whimpered from where he laid twisted on the floor. “No. The Angel,” Tenebrae’s title for Uriel. How the fuck he’d deluded himself that he wasn’t breaking all sorts of heavenly rules was a mystery to me, “the Angel only trusted the truth to a few of us. He said that he was the Messiah and would lead us all to riches and fame. That she would be the downfall of us all and had to die. I just thought he didn’t want anyone else to have her, that he wanted the baby to be the last. So when he disappeared…”

Goliath growled. “You decided that she would make a lovely fucking baby making machine? That you’d tie her to a wall and what?” Burns was silent, but Goliath wouldn’t stand for that. He got a spoon and rested it against Burns’ eye socket. “And what?”

“I got another angel. Not an Archangel. I thought I could… breed them.”

I ground my back teeth until my jaw ached. “And you are telling me no one else in your fucked up organization knew? I’m not buying it.”

“I swear. I got him myself. I wasn’t going to share with the rest of Tenebrae. The organization is breaking down. The Angel was Tenebrae. Without him we were just selfish fucks taking what we want. I didn’t have to share. I could have an army of angels for myself.” His eyes burned with madness, and fuck me, but I believed him. “The only people who knew were my most trusted soldiers and you killed every single fucking one of them today.”

Goliath slammed a knife down into Burns’ thigh. “Are you sure there's no one there, guarding this other angel right now?”

Burns started to shake, his body going into shock. “No. No. We’ve broken him. He wouldn’t fucking escape even if we left the door open.”

That’s what this sadistic asshole had wanted to do to Sera. My Sera. Fuck it, I’d had enough. Judas must have thought so too, because he leaned forward and kissed Burns’ lips softly. Almost tenderly. “Say hello to the Devil for me,” he whispered, and Burns began to whimper.

I pulled out my gun and slipped it between his lips. I looked over at Judas.

“That’s some biblical bullshit,Judas.” Then I fired my weapon and ended the threat to my family once and for all.

We’d decidedit was time to leave this place. Our home. While Judas, Goliath and I had been ascertaining that there was no more threat, Sera had packed up some of the kids' stuff. Cain had grabbed all Goliath’s guns, and honestly the nut job had hundreds. I was a little envious. More than their gun collection though, I was envious of their immortality, their connection to each other. Watching Goliath’s skull grow back had been fucking weird, but once it had, he just sat up and kissed Sera like he hadn’t just had half of his face blown off. She would never have to worry about him the way she’d worry about me. Never have to watch him die like she would me. I was selfish, but I couldn’t leave her even if I tried.

Once we’d packed up what was important and loaded it into one of the trucks, the fucking Devil had appeared and made all the bodies disappear, including the carnage that was the back yard. It looked like someone had put the bodies through a wood chipper back there. At Judas’ request, Lucifer had set the whole house on fire. We could never come back here, we knew that. There was too much blood on the floor. Too many bad memories crowding out the good ones. It was better to cleanse it with fire.

We’d driven past the fire department roaring down the street on our way out of town. Someone had a cabin near Black Mountain that we could stay in for a while. Get out of Jersey until the heat died down.

First, we’d stopped to drop Bear and Goose off with Trigger. He’d taken one look at them, battered and bruised, and ushered them into his apartment. I’d seen the shaved head of the kid they’d rescued from the Cartel there too. Trigger was mouthy, but the kid had heart, I’d give him that. He’d hugged Sera long enough that Cain had let out a warning growl, which had made Trigger smile sadly.

Now, we drove quietly down the highway in a convoy. The kids were in the back seat, still asleep, but Luc told me they’d wake up soon. He said it was better to ease them out of it, but I wouldn’t breathe easier until I saw their eyes, heard them speak. Jesus what had I done to them? They were definitely going to need therapy now.

Sera sat beside me, Madoc in a baby seat in the backseat. I reached over and grabbed her hand, my eyes on the truck behind me, and the two bikes in front of us. “Are you okay?” I asked, my voice sounding strange to my own ears. The last time I’d heard it, it had been a prepubescent squeak. Now I sounded like I’d been sucking back cigars for the past twenty years.

She smiled at me, but she looked exhausted. “I’m fine. Just glad we are all safe. When I thought you were dead…” she shuddered, and I squeezed her hand again. “It was the worst thing that had happened to me. Don’t do that to me again.”

I nodded, but it was a lie. “Quiet life now. Promise.”

She smiled, shaking her head. Yeah, she didn’t believe that shit either. We sat in silence until she dozed in the passenger seat.

I looked over, unable to stop myself from staring at the softness of her face in sleep. God, she was so beautiful. “I love you,” I whispered, and the edges of her lips tilted, even though she didn’t wake up.

I didn’t know what to do about my voice. Raphael had come back, offered to undo the good he’d done. I’d said no. Even though I hadn’t wanted him to fix it before, it was because I was comfortable in who I was. Because I’d been a little scared, if I was honest. Now I’d seen Sera’s face light up when I told her I loved her, or whispered how beautiful she was in her ear, and I wasn’t sure I could go back.

I still caught myself signing, and I couldn’t imagine becoming a huge conversationalist. Sol still spoke to me in ASL like he knew I needed the comfort of the old gestures. Fuck, if I was gay, I’d love the hell out of that man for that alone. I mean, I kinda loved him even though I wasn’t gay. The thing we had between us, that the Horsemen had between them, was special. I wasn’t on the outside. They cared for me and the kids like I’d been with them for the last thirty years. To a kid who’d had nothing but hate and pain growing up, for a man who’d kept himself separate for fear of that soul deep level of betrayal again, what we had here? It was a gift.

There was a noise from the back seat, and Sammie was sitting up, rubbing his eyes. He looked panicked for a moment, until his eyes settled on Cara and Madoc, and then on me in the driver's seat. He let out a long breath that edged on a whimper. His shining eyes caught mine in the rear view mirror.

“You’re okay,” he choked out.

I nodded and smiled, pulling over to the shoulder of the road because this was going to be a bit of a shock. The bikes in front and the truck behind pulled over with me. The sound of the tires on gravel woke Cara too.

She looked at me, unclipping her seatbelt before we’d come to a stop, and launching herself across the seats at me. “Papa! I thought you were dead,” she sobbed into my neck, and I wrapped her tight in my arms, cherishing the word Papa like the gift it was.

I shook my head, kissing the top of her head. “I’d never leave you, either of you,” I said softly, but it was still a shock. Cara scrambled back until she was on Sera’s lap, her eyes wide. I looked over at Sammie, whose mouth was hanging open. “You can talk?” he whispered.

I didn’t know how to explain it to them, so I went with the truth. “Raphael fixed it for me. Is it okay?” So much upheaval in their lives. This would be another shock. Sammie was nodding, even though his eyes were still big and full of fear and confusion.

Cara tilted her head. “Can you say I love you?”

---