Page 29 of Dodging Bullets

She frowned at me, biting her lower lip. “You didn’t just come to visit me? Visit us?”

Her hurt wafted toward me on her scent, and my Omega whined. “That too. I didn’t want to overstep while you were settling in. Some Omegas can find that uncomfortable, especially at this time.”

She looked between us all. “What time?”

“When you’re close to going into heat. Now that you’re off your suppressants, I think you’ll have your first heat within the next ten days.”

Sixteen

Polly

Iwasn’t an idiot. When I’d gotten my library card, the first book I’d checked out was about designations. It was a guide made for teens just coming into their designation, but it had helped. Most people grew up knowing this stuff. They’d met dozens, if not hundreds of Alphas, Betas and Omegas before they went through their own transition.

Then I’d gotten books on religion. On cults. On modern technology. On social and cultural norms. Politics. I’d spent hours curled up on the couch with Rio, or in Llew’s suite, or at the breakfast bar while Max cooked and I read. I consumed all the knowledge I could lay my hands on, like a greedy little sponge.

So I knew Omegas went through heats. And I knew that they tended to start when Omegas were just a little younger than my age. I’d just never had one, so I thought that perhaps I was just a little defective. The guys didn’t seem to care—not that I’d ever brought it up—or if they did care, I wasn’t ready for them to kick me to the curb yet. I would happily stick my head in the sand.

So I knew what heats were in theory, but how did they know that I was going to go through a heat in ten days? And what did it mean? What would it be like?

The books didn’t go into specifics on that. I knew sex happened, and that if people didn’t have a Pack, there were clinics where an Omega could go and get clinical help. The book hadn’t been very specific what kind of clinical help you’d get.

I looked at August, the only other Omega I knew. “I wasn’t on suppressants.”

“Did you have daily vitamins? Supplements? Anything like that?”

I realized exactly what he meant. We’d all had morning vitamins given out by Sister Roberta. I’d always gotten an extra one, because I was the child of Melize. They’d said it was to rid me of her taint. Ofcourseit had been suppressants.

“Yes. I feel like such a fool.”

Llew squeezed me reassuringly. “How could you have known? You are bright and beautiful, Sweet Thing. You can’t know what you don’t know.” I wasn’t sure about the logic around that statement, but I still nodded.

August leaned forward, and I got caught in his pretty brown eyes. “You were abused, Polly.” I flushed, my gut feeling sour at his words. “None of this is your fault. The people who were supposed to love you, supposed to care for you—they hurt you, emotionally and physically. Llew is right; why would you question the people who were supposed to care for you?”

In my head, what they were saying made sense, but it might take my heart a little longer to catch up. “So my heat… What does that mean?”

August wet his lower lip, dragging it between his teeth in a way that was entirely transfixing. I wanted to taste that lip. I wanted to drag it between my teeth. I wanted to feel it against my skin.

Llew rumbled beneath me, and someone groaned.

August’s face looked flushed. “It means that you’ll find yourself feeling more aroused by your mate, and his Packmembers and, uh, anyone else you find attractive. You’ll want to arrange your nest—the guys have explained your nest?” I nodded, and he continued. “You’ll want to make it and remake it. You’ll feel irritable, and things will annoy you more. Irritating smells and sounds will make you want to overreact. I once threw my clock out the window, because the ticking sound made me irrationally grumpy just before my heat.”

I laughed softly, thinking about the crunchy peanut butter I’d tried this morning. And the feel of the cotton balls in the bathroom. Both had made me gag. “Okay. I knew that from the book at the library. What isn’t in the book? During my heat itself, what happens?”

The guys all looked uncomfortable, but also maybe a little intense? August sucked in a deep breath, his gaze bouncing around at the guys too. “So when your heat starts, you’ll be in pain. It’s like a deep cramp low in your belly, and your Omega knows only one thing will ease it. Alphas. An Alpha’s knot, to be exact. You’re lucky—your Omega is smart. She knew that Llew was a good Alpha, and she made him yours. He will ease the pain as soon as you let him. Consent is key,always,so if you want to go to a clinic for your heat, I know this Pack would support your wishes,” he said with steel in his tone that invited them to argue, so he could eviscerate them.

“Of course we would. Whatever Polly needs,” Max agreed quickly.

I noted again that they were immediately all using the name I’d chosen. They respected my wishes as soon as I voiced them. I felt safe with them; I wouldn’t want to go to some clinical setting with strangers for my heat. Not when I could have my Alpha.

My eyes drifted to Rio. My Alphas.

So I shook my head. “No, I want to be here. I trust these men.”

August inclined his head. His eyes were warm and maybe possessed something like longing? I knew longing. I’d longed for a different life for an eternity.

Shaking my head, I looked at Max. “And Betas? Can I have Betas with me too?”

“You can have anyone or anything you like during your heat. It’s your moment.”

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