Page 49 of Anteros' Return

“Come on, just a few more pushes,” the midwife encouraged while the other held my hand.

“I-I c-can’t.” I sobbed, the pain and loneliness becoming too much all at once.

“Yes, you can! I know you can!” It was the motivation I needed, but it wasn’t coming from the person I wanted to say it.

After two more hard pushes, I delivered my little baby boy, Liam, into the world.

“Congratulations, Mummy,” the midwife cooed as she placed Liam on my chest.

I couldn’t hold in the tears as I let them fall onto my bare skin. There was nothing anyone could say or do to comfort me. Knowing I had to do this alone suddenly set in, which was when I finally realised that he wasn’t coming back. We truly did mean nothing to him.

“Do you have a phone?” I asked the midwives.

“Of course, dear, do you need to call someone?” she asked, handing me her mobile.

“Yes, please, if I can?” I wiped my tears as I dialled Beckett’s number.

“I’ll give you a moment.” She smiled, leaving and closing the door behind her.

I listened to the dial tone, hoping with all I had for him to answer, if only just this once. But as I expected, I got nothing but the voice I adored on voicemail. I hung up and let the tears fall again.

“I guess it’s just you and me, little man.” I wept. “I-I think w-we’ll be just fine.” I gazed at my baby boy, and despite just being born, he looked exactly like Beck.

Liam let out a little whimper, one that reassured me that we’d be okay as long as we had one another.

Hours passed and my family arrived. My parents cuddled with Liam while Harry spent his time with me, checking how I was and not asking the questions I knew he wanted to ask.

“Did you bring my charger?”.

“I already plugged it in for you.” He kissed the top of my head. “You’ll always have me, so will Liam.”

“I know, thank you.”

“Right. Mum and Dad, I think we should let Em get some rest. We’ll pick her up tomorrow.”

“You’re right. Sorry, my love. We got swept up with this little one.” My mum cooed as she handed Liam back to me. “He’s absolutely beautiful, Emily. Just like his mummy.” I knew she saw Beckett in him, they all did, but none of them said a word.

I reached for my phone and scrolled through my socials. After landing on a video of Beckett, I really wished I hadn’t bothered scrolling at all in the first place. There he was, beaming with pride, and he was happy. While I laid in a hospital bed, he had won player of the match.

The boy I knew was long gone, and in his place, was someone he’d always dreamt of being. He was a rising star in the football world. Why would he trade that for changing dirty nappies and doing the feeds at ridiculous hours of the night?

“Like I said, just you and me.” I kissed Liam’s forehead, that new baby scent filling my senses as I did. “You’re my person now. The only one I need.”

18

Iwatched Emily disappear up the stairs, and it took everything I had not to run after her. I knew she wouldn't have appreciated it, though, and I didn’t want to sprint when we were still crawling.

Although I didn’t want to, I closed the door behind me. My mind went into overdrive about all the things she said, and it broke my fucking heart hearing her say them.

I’d show her that I was here for her as well as Liam, that I was here for my family. I knew I couldn’t gain back the years I lost, but I could make up for them in any way I could.

After grabbing my phone from her car, I posted the keys through the letterbox. I glanced up towards the only room with a light on upstairs, knowing that she was in there. All I wanted to do was hammer the door down and tell her I’d fight for her, for them both, but I knew that wasn’t the way to go. I wasn’t one for showering her with words that she’d just think were false promises. I planned on showing her. It was the only way she’d believe me in the end.

I made my way back to the car. Ollie looked over at me as I got into the passenger seat. “You good?” he asked.

“I will be.” I smiled at the house, knowing I had to put my plan in motion.

Once back at my parents house, I stood beneath the spray of the shower, the warm water cascading down my body. The sight of Emily in a towel was burnt into my retinas. How she smelt, how she felt—everything about her drove me fucking crazy.

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