Page 59 of Anteros' Return

“Em, I’m here now.”

“Are you?” I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation. “I suggest you just enjoy whatever time you have left with Liam until you jet off.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, Beckett's expression changed. A twinge of guilt hit me for being so blunt, but it was the truth. The reality was that he would forever be my first love. No matter how many times I tried to date other people, he would always remain in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his arms, kissing until the sun rose, but it was pointless. I wasn't planning on moving to Spain, not that he’d even wanted us to, and there was no way he would ever move back. Beckett was always destined for greater things.

“You can pick Liam up tomorrow.” I pulled out my phone, sending a quick text to Kayla and expressing my need to leave.

“I’ll show you, Em.” He sounded sincere, and part of me believed he would show me, but I still second-guessed everything.

Maybe other people would’ve gotten back together with him, but it wasn’t that simple. At least not to me.

We stood in heavy silence, the thump of the music inside pulsing through the walls and blending with the ragged sound of our breathing—fast, uneven, still charged from everything that had just been said.

“Are you okay?” Kayla hurried out of the exit towards me.

“I’m sorry, K. I need to go.” I shivered as she draped my jacket over my shoulders. “You can stay if you want to, though. You don’t need to leave because of me.”

“Stop that right now. I’m staying at yours. Let’s go and open one of those bottles of wine in the fridge and relax.” She smiled and squeezed my hand in hers.

“Goodnight, Beckett.” I turned as I spoke, closing my eyes briefly to try and fight the hurt that was, yet again, creeping in.

The following morning, I was up bright and early, wanting to finish the sketch for Kayla’s wedding cake. She had new ideas last night, which I was more than happy to revise in the drawing.

“Morning, bestie.” She lit up as she entered my small office at the back of the house. “Did you sleep alright?”

I was about to answer when she interrupted. “Actually, scrap that, I know you didn’t. I felt you tossing and turning all night before sneaking out of the room at five this morning.” She sat on the armchair by the window, pulling the throw I kept over the back of it over her legs. “Do you want to talk about Beckett?”

“There isn’t much to say, K.” I didn’t look up at her, keeping my eyes on her cake design instead.

“Put that bloody pencil down for a second and look at me.” I took a deep breath and did as she told me, placing my pencil down on the pad. “Do you still love him?”

“You know I do. I’ve never stopped. Even after everything I thought was true, I couldn’t love anyone else.” I rubbed at my eyes with the palms of my hands.

“Then what do you want? Do you want to try again with him?”

“I don’t know, but right now, my focus is on Liam and him creating a strong foundation for a relationship before he finds out he’s his father.”

“And they can do that, but you shouldn’t have to fight your feelings and give up the right to be happy while that happens”

“I know that. I just?—”

“Just nothing! Invite him to the wedding. Spend that time together alone and have fun.” It was practically a demand, and it was one that I couldn’t deny might be just what I needed. “You don’t need to label anything. Just go together as friends, and see where it could lead later down the line.”

“Maybe…”

“Get your bloody phone out and ask him!” She sat bolt upright with a sudden burst of energy.

“Now?”

“No, tomorrow…” she deadpanned. “Of course now!” she teased as she sat on the edge of her chair with a giddy grin.

I strummed my fingers on my phone screen, staring at his contact information.

“I’m getting old over here. Get a bloody move on.”

“Fine! Just pipe down.” I laughed as I pulled up our message history.

Are you awake?

---