Page 111 of In the Light of Sin

With age, Jordyn stopped her petty bullying. Instead, she became my friend in our first year of high school and actually defended me from bullies. I don’t know what the switch was, but for the first time in my life, I felt… happy. I had someone who knew my insecurity and accepted me besides our parents. Even if it was just my sister, it was enough for me.

My breath was shaky as my anxiety rose, my breathing rapid and shallow as I made my way to the living room couch. Not the original couch our parents got, one I had to buy a few years ago when the beer stains and cigarette burns from Jordyn and the Bloods in our old ones got too much, and the rancid odor made the thing fall apart at the seams.

Instead, it was a nice faux leather, a little banged up but easily cleanable with bleach. I didn’t have the energy to make my way through the house anymore. I had to sit down and collect myself, and then I would continue down nightmare lane if I could. The fall air outside made the house chilly with the broken windows and no front door. I shivered, wishing I had one of Sarge’s oversized hoodies to keep me warm instead of the plain orange t-shirt I wore to work today.

A small smile graced my lips, thinking about Sarge and work. Since that night, he revealed to me he knew sign language, and if I didn’t want to wear my hearing aids, I didn’t have to. He let me have full control of what I did and didn’t do regarding my body. So, I decided to wear my hearing aids less. Nyla and Oakley manned the front while I worked on strictly online orders in the back. If they truly needed me, they just came and got me. I only had to worry about wearing them at school and the clubhouse now, but school was ending in a few months since I decided to graduate early, and nowadays… we barely went to the clubhouse. I tried to talk to Sarge about it, but he brushed it off every time with a rigid stance.

There was a story there that I would drag out of him one day. Until then, I had more things to worry about. Like my upcoming surgery.

When Hex offered the surgery, I was skeptical. I knew he was a good doctor and that he saved Nyla’s and the other Souls’ lives. But I felt off about his intentions. No one did anything for nothing in return. But this was life-changing for me. Hex had already done preliminary testing and could do the surgery as early as next week.

My heart beat fast at the thought. Life was built on little moments leading into big ones. I never knew that party at Hellbound would lead me to a life I actually loved living.

My body sank on the couch. The night Sarge forced me to recognize the world with my other senses made me want to do it again. I reached into my pocket, pulling out my case before putting my hearing aids inside, sighing as I thought about next week. Hex was going to perform the surgery that would change my whole life. Nerves settled in, the unknown taking the forefront of my mind. I knew people might be against cochlear implants, but it was my choice. There was nothing wrong with hearing aids. There’s nothing wrong with being deaf. We all have different wants and needs.

I wanted to feel normal. This surgery was the best chance I had of it. I’ve always dreamed of not wearing the rough plastic that gave me tiny scars, something I was self-conscious about that led me to always wear my hair down so other people didn’t see.

I couldn’t wait for Sarge to keep his promise.

Would I sound different to myself? Would he sound different? Even if he did, his baritone voice would always be my favorite thing. I always felt a spark when he spoke to me… his voice was my favorite sound.

The despair was fleeing, hope for the future now settling in. My body sank into the black leather, head resting on the top as the memories—wanted and not—sank deep into my bones. I knew this would be the last moment inside my childhood home, so I closed my eyes, letting the nostalgia flow through me. One last mental ride through Hell before I let the memories burn.

Mom. Dad. Jordyn. The three most important people in my past life, but only one has remained. I still loved my parents and Jordyn, but not because we were blood. They all made sacrifices for me. Extreme, life altering sacrifices that could’ve been avoided. My parents killed themselves for insurance money for my hearing aids and I would be dead if it wasn’t for Jordyn. The guilt will forever be with me, but I couldn’t live my life like that anymore. They made those decisions, I didn’t ask them to. I am not responsible for the actions of others. I can only control what I do. And I wasn’t going to live my life being a doormat anymore.

A smile that spread on my lips warmed me. Sarge. The most important person in the life I wanted. A lifetime by Sarge’s side is exactly where I wanted to be. Holding hands, kissing, late night conversations that led to exploring each other’s bodies. Endless adventures and unexpected memories. I wanted everything with him. And soon, we’d get that chance.

I just wish I heard the footsteps barge in the house. I felt their hands pinning me down too late as waves of nausea and fear coursed through me as I watched a man with an eye patch and yellow smile pull out a black handkerchief, pouring something on it before covering my mouth with it.

I struggled against the sedation, but my body grew heavy, and my eyes tired.

The place where my nightmares started would be the place where the Devil kept me.

Chapter 29: Sarge

No.

No. Fucking. Way.

It had to be the stress I was under. My eyes were just making shit up to piss me off even more. Jordyn was not in the common area of the club, drinking a strawberry milkshake at the bar, a glint on her wrists. Was she handcuffed?

Vic noticed me and possibly felt the murderous aura I saw at seeing my girl’s bitch of a twin enjoying something as simple as blended ice cream. She waved at me, her smile not as bright as usual. I hadn’t seen her since that night with Prez. She’s made herself more scarce. Something she often did to spare everyone from her negative emotions. I rushed over to them, getting as close to Jordyn as I could without touching her. “What the fuck are you doin’ here?”

She glanced at me before putting her lips back to the straw. She didn’t look scared. Her dull green eyes looked more dead than alive. “Drinking a milkshake.”

Even her voice was monotone. My head snapped to Vic, trying not to lose my shit. My jaw twitched at the force of my teeth gnashing together. “Why?”

“Darrell said if y’all were too pussy to kill her, he would do it himself.” Jordyn flinched. Body still as Victoria continued. “She just won’t know when or where. Until then? She’s to be handcuffed and watched at all times.”

My gut churned hearing Prez’s name. I’ve been steering clear of that bastard. I decided not to tell the brothers, not until I had solid proof of whatever the fuck he was doing or who he was working with. They blindly followed him like I did. Words from a man like me wouldn’t sway their opinion of him and could put me at a disadvantage. Or it could piss them off that I knew something fucked up was happening with him, and I kept it hidden. Either way, I was stuck in the middle of a situation I didn’t care to be a part of.

But one that would either save me or end my life.

“Since you’re here I’m out.” Victoria’s been more moody since the night I found her and Prez fighting in his office. “She’s your problem now.”

She wouldn’t be my problem if I just killed her.And if Hex didn’t hang Joslyn’s surgery over my head, I would kill her in a heartbeat. I wondered if he knew Prez’s plans for her now.

I flattened my lips annoyed with this situation. She was swirling the straw in the empty glass, chin resting on her palm in deep thought. The more I looked at those devoid eyes on Jordyn, the more pissed off I got. Why the fuck was she looking so damn pitiful? Once the shackles were removed, she was given the luxury of a lush bed to lay her head on. The thought pissed me off, and I had to focus on other things. My foot began to tap against the floor, an echo I hoped was annoying her coming from it. I saw her glare in the corner of my eye.Good. Hope you enjoy the headache, you bitch.

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