Page 115 of In the Light of Sin

The smoke burned my eyes, a lone tear sliding at the corner as I focused on Joslyn’s lips and not the house falling apart due to the flames around us. A sole thought on my mind.

I knew I would take her life from her.

Chapter 30: Sarge

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Told you she was a fuckin’ mistake.”I tried to focus on the voice speaking, but it sounded like I was in the ocean with how muddled it was.“And look where she got you? The same position you were six years ago.”Who the fuck was jabbering on? Why the fuck did everything hurt? They got where too late?“Fuckin’ idiot for goin’ in a fire like that.”

Going into a fire? Why would I be stupid enough to do that? Everyone knew I lost my shit when someone struck a lighter. Who the fuck was he talking about? Why couldn’t I move? Panic set in. Oh, fuck. I’ve been in this position before—trapped with the misfortune of hearing but not speaking or moving. I was a prisoner in my own fucking body. Again. But why? What happened?“You’re destined to die. But by my hand. Not hers.”

I heard the chair scrape against the floor. I focused on the footsteps growing more distant, a door shutting with a loud thud. My mind centered on whoever’s words. Both of us? What—

Memories of the previous night hit me like a freight train. My heart stopped beating, calm before the storm.

Fire. Joslyn was locked in a closet. Her crying wrapped around herself while I carried her down the stairs, attempting to get her out before it was too late. She refused to leave when she could because she wouldn’t leave me. The anguish I felt. The agonizing fact that I couldn’t save the woman who owned my fucking heart for the second time. Fire surrounded us, closing in before both of us passed out.

Joslyn.

Joslyn.

“Joslyn!”My throat burned. My body ached. My eyes felt like sandpaper, and the IV was ripped out of my arm when I thrashed around, kicking and flailing my arms in every direction until I stood up on my two shaking legs.“JOSLYN!”

My breathing was short and ragged, and I couldn’t catch my breath. I was shirtless with panicked eyes scanning the room. She wasn’t here.She. Wasn’t. Here.

I pushed myself off the bed, damn near collapsing to the ground with how weak my legs felt. My steps were haggard, breathing labored as I walked towards the single door of the spare room Hex used underground for a recovery clinic. The hallway was cold against my bare feet. I hadn’t realized that I was naked from the waist up, but I didn’t care. I needed to find Joslyn.

Her name was a loud prayer coming off my lips. I was leaning heavily against the wall, ready to tear apart this damn clubhouse, even if it killed me. If she wasn’t here… if she didn’t survive, it was the end of me anyway.

I didn’t want to live in a world without Sunshine.

My hand sought out the door handle of the main room of Hex’s clinic. The door slammed against the wall, and my frantic eyes desperately looked around the room. My eyes sought out the lone bed in here. There was someone under the sheets. I didn’t know if my legs had the strength to carry me there, but I would give my last fucking breath to see if it was her.

My breathing was deep and shallow, and my brain was foggy. My eyes were bleary, and I felt like I was going to pass out at any second. I was desperate, and desperate times called for the weakest, impulsive moments.

I prayed.

I prayed for the first time in six years that the person in that hospital bed was the girl who was my soul living outside of my body.

“Please,” I begged in a useless whisper. “Please don’t take her away from me.”

I sucked in a sharp breath, almost collapsing at the relief that spread through my body when my eyes saw who was lying motionless in the bed.

Joslyn.

I struggled to limp over to her, collapsing to my knees the second I made it to her bedside. The white sheets and blonde hair splayed like an angel’s halo. Her pale skin almost blended in with the colorless sheets. There was a clear tube in her nose, and her face looked serene. I needed her eyes to open and the green-colored gems to sparkle.

But she didn’t open them.

She was so small on the hospital bed. The thin white blankets covering her body had my heart constricting. She didn’t look good in white. She should never be surrounded by anything colorless.

I went to touch her, to ground myself, but I paused, my hands hovering over her body, afraid that if I touched her, I would hurt her. The steady beat of the heart monitor reminded me that her heart was still beating… for me and me only.

I didn’t have the courage to look her whole body over. I knew she didn’t come out of that fire without pain. She ran through the fucking fire to get to me. For fucks sake… she was going to have something. The corner of my eye caught something on her left arm. My heart sank as the white bandages clashed with her porcelain skin. Blood was seeping to the surface, turning the white into a pale pink.

She couldn’t die.She couldn’t fucking die.

I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I had to touch her. My hand went to her face, taking up half of it. My throat worked past a knot, remembering how full of life she was when I kissed her goodbye before she headed off to her shift at Poppy Oaks. And now she was lying here, almost lifeless.

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