Page 42 of In the Light of Sin

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Yeah.” Her admittance was barely a whisper. “But I’m too afraid to find out.”

“V’s different with you.” I didn’t think it was an insult like she was scared it was. We’ve only been involved with the club for around six months now, but V barely looked at anyone or spoke to anyone who wasn’t Oakley. She didn’t reply, not wanting to talk about her borderline stalker anymore. I knew she was curious but had a hard time accepting that someone could be interested in her like that.

I wish she looked at herself the way she used to before the incident.

I blew out a breath, seeing we were getting close to where I needed to go before she dropped me off at Poppy Oaks. “Will you take me someplace before work?”

She cut her eyes from the road to me and back again before asking, “Where?”

“Sarge and I had sex.” Her audible gasp had me whipping my hand up to shush her impending judgment. “I’m not on birth control since it messes with a woman’s body so much, and I already have so much going on…”

She adjusted her hands on the steering wheel, flexing them nervously. “Please tell me you used a condom.”

I snorted. As if it would be that simple with him. “Sarge literally told me to get on birth control or get pregnant. He refuses to wear a condom.”

“Did you at least take a Plan B?”

“Yeah, Sarge got it for me. But he wants to…” I had to contain my smile. “Said he can’t keep his hands off of me and that I was the love of his life.”

Oakley snorted at that. “I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, so he didn’t say that exactly.” I leaned back in the passenger seat content. “But for Sarge, a grunt means yes, and his cock inside of me means I love you.”

Oakley choked on the sip of coffee she’d just taken, patting her chest aggressively. I giggled, leaning over to pat her back. She looked over at me with a wry expression. “You don’t have a filter, do you?”

“My fantasy world is the only way I can escape this shitty thing called life.” I knew she understood me. “That’s why you read, right?”

Her face softened as she turned back to look at the road. “At least books were supposed to hurt me.”

I reached over, patting Oakley’s thigh. Like everyone else, I had no idea what happened to her in high school. Just knew it traumatized her enough to withdraw from everything she was excited for in the future. She wanted to work in marketing, but the thought of being around people made her extremely nervous now.

So she began to bake and was pretty damn good at it too. She still had to market a little at the beginning, but now her business had begun to really take off.

We parked near the entrance of the doctor’s office, walking in step toward the doors. Nervousness overtook me as I reached for Oakley’s hand. “Were you this nervous when you got birth control?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’ll be with you. It’ll be okay.”

She was a dream come true. I knew this would make her late for a class of hers, but she was choosing my comfort over hers… she would’ve gone in the room with me if it wasn’t for her own shadow scaring people in the waiting room. He was gonna get arrested one day for bringing a bloody bat in a public space. Oakley looked between us, not knowing what to do, but V wouldn’t relent, so I told her to take care of him, and I’d be okay by myself.

* * *

“Is there a chance you could be pregnant?”

My stomach pitted at the doctor’s question. The doctor noticed my apprehension before she calmly explained, “We have to ask before we prescribe birth control. I’m not saying you are.”

I blew out a sigh of relief. I didn’t want kids–yet anyway. Thinking about having Sarge’s baby didn’t freak me out. It was actually pleasant. Would that big brute of a man even want a family? He was so set in his ways, enjoying everything a certain way and a certain level of cleanliness that was impossible to have with a child. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stop thinking about a baby in a flower onesie, the hood covering his eyes like their father. “I don’t think so.“

She looked skeptical. “Have you had unprotected sex recently?”

My face flamed. “Yes, but—“

“Then you need to do a pregnancy test before we proceed.” The doctor stood to gather the supplies she would need to get started. After laying everything out, she washed and dried her hands, leaning over her shoulder to address me, “An STD panel wouldn’t be a bad idea either. I highly recommend it.”

Sarge did say he’d get checked. It’d be smart for me to do the same. “Okay.” I nodded, wringing my hands together to calm my nerves.

Once the pregnancy test came back negative and the STD panels were collected, the doctor snapped her gloves on. “You have to be careful with birth control. There are different types.” I knew Oakley told me. She’s taken almost every birth control imaginable for her PCOS before she found one that worked for her. “Lots of side effects, too. The most common one is weight gain.”

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