Page 94 of In the Light of Sin

His hand grabbed the front of my shirt, a laugh escaping as he dragged me inside. I almost tripped with his large strides, running to keep up with his pace. When we bypassed the living room, something warmed my soul: we were going to his bedroom.

His room was a marvel with the crisp, unchanged white and the perfectly made bed you could bounce a quarter on. I haven’t been in here since the night I spilled my heart out about my past. My mood sobered. I didn’t want to think about that period now. I wanted to forget, even if it was just for a little bit. Any relief from the pain my life used to be was something I craved.

He let go of me, turning to face me, and I just stood there dumbly, not knowing what to do next. I let him control the pace between us when it came to sex. I knew that’s what being in here would lead to. The sun was just setting, and hopefully, he would put his face between my legs. I rubbed my thighs together, anticipating the thought of him.

“If your hearin’ aids are botherin’ you. You don’t have to wear them.”

Well, that was heart-warming, not sexy. I blinked, not expecting that at all. “What?”

“I didn’t know they hurt you constantly.”

It was usually with loud sounds and how the hard plastic scraped my ears. I don’t know if I wanted to live without hearing Sarge’s deep baritone until my surgery. “Then how can we talk?”

“Wanna know what I was doin’ with Lib this entire time?” Yes. So I stopped thinking the worst. I knew in my bones they weren’t in a casual fling, but my heart assumed the worst. What else would a man do with a woman alone? I thought he was going to tell me, but instead he showed me. He raised his hands, fingers awkwardly moving. My eyes were too focused on his disfigured fingers fumbling with each other.“She’s been teaching me this.”

My mouth fell open, eyes shooting wide, unable to take my eyes away from him.

He was using sign language.

Helearnedhow to use sign language.

“How…” My throat worked past the knot in my throat as I tried to find the words. Was this real life? “How much do you know?”

He lifted his hands again.“Basics.”

My eyes burned, and my hand rubbed my chest to try to control myself and my fraying emotions. “When did you have the time?”

“When you were at work,” he grunted, not knowing how to spell it in sign language. It was difficult to learn. I had to learn at an early age, but I’ve kept up with it over the years, not for myself, but in case I ever met someone else who couldn’t recognize speech with their ailment. “She’s a speech-language pathologist.” He paused before correcting himself, “Well, was.”

I didn’t know a lot about Libby. She was standoffish and rude the majority of the time. It was hard to get to know someone as prickly as her. Not for my lack of trying. It was just the way she was, and I was curious to know what made her that way. “What happened?”

He was debating. It wasn’t his story to tell. Libby was a hard person to read, but she reminded me a lot of myself. Drowning herself in whatever she could to numb her pain. “Her husband killed himself.”

My hand rubbed the spot over my heart, that poor woman. No wonder why she was so closed off and drowning herself in liquor. I knew it took the demons away for a moment, but they always invited more in. “That’s horrible.”

“Yeah,” he grunted, voice more hoarse than before. I can tell whoever Libby’s husband was meant at least an inkling to Sarge. “Dagger was a good man.”

That confused me. I thought she was married to someone else? “Then who’s Hollow—”

“A lost fuckin’ soul is what he is.” He cut me off, not going to tell me any more than that. Hollow seemed like a forbidden subject not just to Sarge but the whole club. Every time his name was brought up, the brothers and Victoria looked gutted. No one dared mention him in Libby’s vicinity, but every time she was brought up with Hollow’s name, it sounded like they had something between them. I’d never heard Dagger’s name brought up, though.

This band of brothers has been through a lot, haven’t they?

My eyes scanned the yellow walls, mind wandering off to the yard decorations and rocking chair in Sarge’s garage. My heart was full of gratitude and confusion. I couldn’t remember the last time someone’s done something for me without wanting something in return. “Why did you do all this for me?”

“Wanted you to have a space to call your own.”

His answer was so simple and sincere. I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Not with my parents, not with Jordy, not even with Nyla and Oakley. I felt like I was in a dark room, the spotlight on everyone else but me, and I was the one who would always be forgotten eventually. My fingers brushed the corner of my burning eye. I didn’t feel alone anymore. The spotlight was finally shining on me, Sarge closely by my side, embracing the thing he hated for my sake. “I was scared.”

His body tightened. “Of what?”

“That last night you were just telling me what I wanted to hear.” I rocked back and forth on my heels, feeling uneasy about spilling out what I was feeling to him. Again. “That everything I’ve been through was too much. You didn’t want a girl who was as used up as I was—”

He cut me off, slamming his lips on mine as I felt his hand encompass mine completely before directing it to the large bulge between his legs. The twitch against my palm, followed by a groan leaving his throat, sent heat between my thighs. “Does it feel like I don’t want you?”

I pulled back, panting at this man’s ability to take my breath away. My teeth sank into my bottom lip, fingers grasping his erection, making him hiss and push his hips further into my hand. “I’d rather you show me.”

“I’ll show you all fuckin’ night,” he hissed, stepping away from me. “Tonight, we’re going to try somethin’ different.”

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