Page 34 of I'm Not Your Pet

These were all thoughts I should have had before taking Huu-goh aboard the ship. But there hadn’t been time. I’d always been more of an action-man anyway. And in that moment, there had been no choice but to keep him—how could I have done anything different when I’d asked him if he wanted to stay and he’d said no?

Since then, I’d simply been doing my best.

But I’d been flying blind.

“I think you’re making excuses because you’re scared,” Mala accused, always wiser than I gave him credit for. He had a family back home, a mate and three pups. Though I was older, he had more experience.

“I…” My spots lost their color as I clenched my fists and tried to figure out how to tell Mala what I’d done. “You’re right,” I admitted as visions of Huu-goh’s hips pumping against me assaulted my senses. “But?—”

Mala rolled his eyes. “You annoy me.”

“Fuck you.” Despite my own conflicting emotions, I laughed.

“I don’t know how else to tell you that the only way you’ll fuck this up is by overthinking it.” He jabbed me in the chest with a claw and I snorted, batting his hand away. “You said he wanted you? That he made the choice?”

“Yes.” My pulse thrummed. “And I want to touch him again. But I haven’t even planned the ceremony yet. Isn’t that disrespectful? He deserves to be treated with respect. I’ve never thought about any of this before. It is intimidating. I don’t want to get it wrong.”

“If you want to touch him then touch him,” Mala shrugged.

“It is not so simple.”

“It is.” He stared at me. I stared back. A few beats passed. “Okay,” Mala sighed. “I’m going to tell you something, and you’re going to listen.” I nodded. “And you’re not going to judge me, but you will take this to heart—and to your grave.” He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want it getting around or my mate would kill me, but I do think knowing this will bring you some peace.”

My hearts thudded. I nodded again.

“Yanet and I…” Mala sighed dreamily, leaning against the counter with a grin as he spoke of his mate. “We had a lot of…fun before our ceremony.”

I blinked, shocked.

“Yanet?” Yanet was older than me by several years, and far more uptight than anyone I’d ever met. It was nearly impossible to imagine him doing anything of a sexual nature at all. Ugh. That thought was not—no. Just, no.

“He did not let me fuck him with my cocks till the night of our wedding, but…” Mala grinned wickedly. “I had other ways of getting inside him.”

I gagged, and Mala chuckled, amused by my pain.

“Spare me the details, please.” I was not interested in imagining two of my closest friends in such a setting before their mating.

“The point is,” Mala continued. “We were fine. Wearefine.” He met my gaze, trying to get his point across. “You were at the wedding. Was it any less special? Did Yanet look like he felt disrespected?”

He wanted a real answer, so I thought seriously before speaking. The truth tasted light on my tongue. “No.”

“Do you think less of Yanet and I now?”

“No.”

“See?” He grinned, slapping me on the shoulder, his tendrils splitting out to give me a playful squeeze. “Everyone moves at their own pace. Whatever feels natural to you both is the right course to take.”

“Right.”

My head was spinning. My hearts were in my throat.

“But…” This was embarrassing. More than a little mortifying to admit. “I don’t know…how to do anything. I mean—” I dropped my tone, grateful once again that we were alone. “How does it even work?”

Of course I knewhowit worked. The fundamentals at least.

“He’s not a Sahrk,” I added, spots fuschia in embarrassment when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrors that lined therooms. Mala nodded, as if he realized that this was where my true insecurity came from. “What if I can’t please him? What if we’re not…compatible.”

“Were you compatible last night?”

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