Page 157 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions

“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed,” I admitted, giving him the honesty he’d requested even though we were no longer in a scene.

“What do you need?” Alex asked, instead of dismissing my feelings. “A hug?” God, he was so quick to offer those. “Snuggles? Another sex sandwich? A bottle of water? Some back scratches? What?—”

“A hug would be nice,” I confirmed—and it ached.

It ached so badly to ask for what I needed. Because I hadn’t before. And I was realizing…the more time I spent with Alex, how often I’d ignored my own needs to please everyone else. He paid such close attention it was impossible to be dismissive of myself when he was by my side. As though he wouldn’t allow it.

Alex’s arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tightly into his thick chest. His breath tickled my ear. One big, solid hand stroked down my back just like it had when we’d been naked and he’d been inside me.

“Do you want to talk about what’s overwhelming you?” Alex asked, chest rumbling beneath my cheek. Christ, he was the best hugger in the world. Better than Mom, even. I blamed his pecs.

“It’s just…a lot,” I admitted—once again surprised by the honesty. “Being with you makes me realize what I’ve been missing.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Alex’s hand swiped up and down, and I melted. “That was the point. Why I offered this—why you accepted. So that you could know what it feels like to be treated right.”

“I suppose so,” I agreed.

His lap looked so inviting.

Inviting enough that I crawled into it—even though it was mortifying to do so—the mattress making a squeaking sound as we moved. It didn’t pop or give, which was good. The last thing I needed was to feel more embarrassed. Alex rearranged my legs so that I was sitting sideways, face tucked into the space beneath his ear, hidden away.

Cradled there, I really did feel safe, especially when his hand continued to rub my lower back, and his other hand gripped my hip tight so I wouldn’t fall.

“I suppose…” My lips brushed his throat. “It’s good to know…that there are better options out there.” I paused, gathering my thoughts. “I’ve never been with someone who…matches my…” What was the word? “Energy? It’s always felt so…one-sided.”

“Believe me, I totally get that.”

“Yeah?” My heart stuttered.

“Sometimes…” Alex trailed off, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to keep speaking. He sucked in a breath, uncharacteristically defenseless. “I think…there’s not a single person out there who can handle my intensity.”

It was a very vulnerable thing to say, made more vulnerable by his toneof voice. All of Alex’s masks were gone. I got the feeling this was the most authentic he’d ever been.

“I like your intensity,” I whispered, just as soft.

Alex made a noise, crushing me tight as he breathed me in. “You say that,” he laughed, “but you’ve only been with me on good days.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Anyway.” Alex quickly changed the subject before I could get my thoughts together. Which was unfair. But…I’d run from him so frequently, I didn’t fault him for his own version of avoidance. “I think it’s good. Feeling overwhelmed right now. Shows you the inverse of what you’ve had, right? So you know what to look for. That’s why it’s a good thing this is temporary. A trial run. For your next relationship.”

“Right.”

“Options are always good. Remember what I said about revenge?” Alex was really trying to distract me now. Talking fast. Almost manic. Like he regretted opening up the way he had—like he couldn’t get his mouth to stop, even if he wanted to.

Hesitantly, I stroked a hand down his back.

He settled.

“Breathe.”

He breathed.

“Are you getting what you wanted out of this, too?” I asked, keeping my tone soft.

“Yes.” Alex’s voice cracked. “You’re the besttemporaryboyfriend ever.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Understatement of the century. I wanted to push—but this time, Alex was the one at risk of running, so I didn’t.

---