Page 169 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions

“Try…again?”

Leisurely,deliberately, Alex stepped back, out of my space. He handed me the bottle of lube. It felt foreign in my grasp. I stared at it, heart racing.

“I’m a top,” Alex husked. “But if you want to dominate me, baby, be my guest.”

And then he slid to his knees at my feet, cold tile be damned.

And now it was my turn to short-circuit.

Having Alex on his knees for me felt like a religious experience. Earth-shattering. Not because of the action itself, but because of the control he was handing to me. Control that, I suspected, was another of his masks.

His pale blue eyes were somehow even more impossibly gorgeous while peering up at me from below—and for a second, all I could do wasbreathe.

I was so overwhelmed by the weight of his surrender.

I’d never been offered something like this before. My inexperience was intimidating—but it was alsoexhilarating. This was a chance to be someone I’d never been allowed to be. A pivotal moment. And the offer of a new…kind of intimacy.

I wasn’t afraid of it.

Not with him.

Alex wouldn’t become angry with me if I fumbled. He wouldn’t yell or ignore me. He wouldn’t ice me out.

If I made a mistake, we’d figure out how to fix it together.

There was no “failing” when I was in bed with him. I couldn’t imagine myself ever feeling this comfortable with anyone else—as preposterous as that sounded.

I shouldn’t trust him so much, he was practically a stranger, and I knew that.

And yet…when Alex was around, all logic flew right out the window.

Bad decisions became good, simply because they meant I’d get to have more of him.

Grounding myself, I closed my eyes.

I let the scene wash over me.

The faucet dripped. Outside, the world was silent—the sound-proofing in here was frankly impressive, all things considered. All I could hear was thewooshof both our breath, and the way my own heartbeat tripped in my chest, as eager to get this right as I was. I nearly strangled the bottle of lube in my hand.

“I’m not sure what to say,” I said, honestly, eyes still shut.

Normally, it was difficult to admit weakness.

But not here.

Not with him.

“I want this, but I…don’t know how to do it.”

“Just do and say what feels right,” Alex reassured. “I promise I’ll like it.”

“What if I sound silly?”

“You won’t.”

Comforted, my free hand found its way blindly into Alex’s hair.

It was as thick and soft as it looked—slightly damp from the summer heat, a reminder that as perfect as he seemed, he was human. He’d never gotten it wet down by the lake so it was untangled. Almost buttery smooth to the touch.

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