Even in this situation?
“Yes, sir.” Alex taunted, before he stuck his tongue out as instructed. He wasn’t exactly…submissiveso much as he was obedient—but I found I didn’t care. Semantics, and all that.
I watched his pink tongue wait, muscle trembling the longer we stood in silence.
He’d made me do this too. In a different setting, for a different reason. But the parallels were impossible to ignore.
This was the time to praise him, right?
That’s what I would’ve liked in his place.
“Um…” I stalled, cheeks burning as I debated how exactly to go about that. “Good boy, Alex.” His lips threatened to pull into a smile despite the way his tongue was out in the air. Like a switch had flipped, the mischief in his gaze settled. “That’s…very…good. You’re so…” With every word it became easier. “You’re so good for me.”
And he was.
So good.
“So good to me,” I added, because it was true. “So strong, and lovely, and caring. The best, most wonderful, most amazing man I’ve ever met.” It was true. It was all true. “You’re being so very good.” He was. “I am so…I am so grateful to you. This…”
Alex’s lashes fluttered, affection dancing in the depths of his gaze.
“This is such a gift. If your tongue starts to hurt you can put it back in,” I murmured softly, mind swimming. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I had no doubt he’d ignore his own comfort for my sake at this point. I sucked in a breath, suddenly overcome with emotion as it truly hit me why exactly he’d pushed for this. That he might need it, the way I did. And that he…
He might have wished to teach me a lesson I desperately needed to understand, the best way he knew how.
Because it wasn’t until I was the one doling out orders and praise that I realized how easy it was to do so. How natural. How right. To take care of the person who relied on you. To…be kind to them. To watch them.
Experiencing Alex in his obedience made me want to cradle and protect him.
Not hurt him.
Not like Brendon had hurt me.
What was it about me that had ensured Brendon did not feel this…protectiveness? This desire to care, and covet, and please? Was it truly my fault? Was I lacking some important, essential component?
No.
Something clicked inside me. A cog. Tiny, mechanical. Fixing itself. Part of a door that’d been wedged shut for long enough I’d forgotten it could open. My systems fired, running smoother than they had in years—thoughts swirling, heart warming—memories…so many memories, climbing to the surface.
No.
Maybe Brendon was the one who was broken, not me.
I really had deserved better.
Was that…what Alex had been trying to teach me through this?
Staring down at his quivering tongue, at his pale, needy eyes—at the way he gave himself to me, trusting me to care for him—all I felt was an immense desire to keep him safe.
“George,” Alex’s tongue went back inside his mouth. “You okay, baby?” His voice was soft, breaking through the fog in my brain. I had no idea how long I’d been observing him—a long time probably. Simply holding his hair and ogling his tongue as my world came crashing down.
Even while on his knees, Alex was watching out for me.
“I’m good,” I promised—and suddenly I was. The shadows of my past fled as quickly as they’d come. I sucked in a breath, a weight on my chest I’d hardly noticed was there, gone with them. “Color?”
“Green,” Alex’s lips twisted into a smirk.