Page 184 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions

Oh my god.

How lovely was that?

“I’m so sorry,” Alex’s hand connected with my elbow, giving it a squeeze. But I didn’t need his comfort. I was sick and tired of being hung up on a man who had never valued me the way I deserved. And even more so, I was fucking exhausted of being stuck within the box he’d built for me.

Of feeling like not enough—when I very much fucking was.

I was enough for Alex, at least.

Tonight had been a night full of firsts.

Of discovery.

And I didn’t feel like the same George I’d been when I’d fought my way through a rainstorm into the airport a few short days ago. I felt…bolder. Stronger. More confident. Alex had demonstrated through every gentle action the way I should’ve been treated all along—and I’d always been a fast learner.

Being a sub didn’t make me powerless.

I didn’t have to make myself smaller.

I could be more unapologetically George than ever before. I could let go. I could trust in the bedroom—and trust outside of it, if I let myself. Sex could be fun and explorative. Kinks weren’t hard lines etched on asphalt but wiggles through sand. Relationships were push and pull.

And love—like Alex had said—could be revenge.

But that wasn’t whatthiswas.

My growing feelings for Alex were not born of a need to get back at Brendonfor what he’d done. They were pure and sweet and new—and frightening, yes. But exciting, too. And even though this had an end date, I didn’t think I’d ever regret them.

I couldn’t.

“I’m not sorry it happened,” the words slipped out before I could stop them. “I’m not. I’m grateful, honestly. Because if Brendon hadn’t cheated, I wouldn’t be here with you. And I am just…”

“Just…?” Alex’s voice was oddly hopeful.

“I am so very glad I met you, Alex James.”

“Me fucking too,” Alex crushed me into a hug that felt like it lasted a century. He smelled delicious. Sweaty again, despite the fact we’d showered. He was, as always, annoyingly hot—given the summer heat and how muggy the inside of the sleeping bag could get when I wasn’t icy with anxiety. I didn’t mind.

Alex pressed my face into his chest, holding me snug and safe there—exactly like he had when we’d had sex. Only, it felt more intimate now, somehow, without lust to cloud the motion. His fingers carded through my hair, the friendship bracelet I’d made him tickling the nape of my neck where his watch usually was.

Right.

His watch.

I was supposed to be telling him a story to distract him! Fuck.

“My ex was a cheating prick, too,” Alex said before I could open my mouth and continue. “Worse than that though, he was aliar. Always wanted me to feel inferior because he was born into money when I wasn’t.” Huh. Alex had never spoken this much about himself, so I consciously tried not to spook him. “He’d take me to the country clubs. Whipped his name around like it was a dick. Undermined me when we hung out with his friends—made it seem like my family’s wealth was lesser somehow, just because it wasn’t old money. He acted like he wanted me to fit in inside the world I’d been thrust into, like he was helping.”

I’d been careful not to form assumptions around Alex and his wealth. Thought it’d been there, right in my face, since the day we’d met and he’d been wearing Armani.

“We were middle class for most of my childhood,” Alex admitted. “And I thought he was a godsend. Trying to fucking Yoda me or some shit, you know? Help me fit in. So I could help my dad. Make more connections, further the business, all that. Everything I’ve ever done reflects on him. I just…I wanted to make him proud. My ex used that to manipulate me.”

I nodded and Alex’s fingers stroked behind my ears. Which was terribly distracting. His heart didn’t skip a beat, didn’t quicken, nothing. Despite the rawness of his words, he wasn’t angry. I could only hope this meant he was past his ex’s transgressions the same way I’d realized I was past Brendon’s.

“He was older than me,” Alex admitted. “I trusted him to know better and took some seriously horrible advice. A lot of it, actually.”

“Like what?”

“Plastic surgery. Eating disorders because he thought I needed to look different to fit in. Bad investments. You name it.” Alex sighed. “I used to see a therapist because of all of that. The plastic surgery was luckily minor stuff. Nose job? Yep.” He gestured at the bump on his nose. “Not that that lasted. Fucking puck to the face got me one time, erased all that work.” Alex frowned. “I got chin lipo at one point because he told me it was starting to look like I had a double chin. Nothing major.”

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