Page 225 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions

No. No. I knew it wouldn’t. I’d had it proven to me time and time again. I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t expect George to accept me when I couldn’t even accept myself. Couldn’t ask him to leave his life behind. Couldn’t go back on our deal.

Couldn’t—

A steady litany of insults and encouragements bounced around inside my head. Back and forth.

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

What a joke.

I was such a fucking joke.

Why would George want this?

Why would George wantme?

“So…” George trailed off, looking up at me—waiting. I hated this. Hated that I wasn’t strong enough to be brave. Hated that a small part of me thought that this could work out for us—and I wanted to squish it down.

Wanted to bury the romantic I’d unearthed, lock him behind my walls, to protect myself from the heartbreak I knew I couldn’t survive.

If George said something…maybe I could push through my own fear. If he gave me a hint that he wanted more. If he crossed that distance first, maybe I could?—

“So.” I stared back, heart in my throat.

George opened his mouth like he wanted to say something—and I froze.

Was he?

No.

No way.

There was no way, shy, reserved George was about to tell me that he loved me. That he was going to pack up his entire fucking life and move in with me. That he didn’t care that we’d barely known each other a week—he knew without a doubt that I was the one for him. That being my “practice boyfriend” would never be enough. That he wanted me?—

Unless…

He did?—?

And hewas?!

But then…he sighed.

And his head dropped down.

And he looked at my feet. Silent. It wasn’t rejection. But it certainly wasn’t the rain-scented confession of undying love that I’d hoped for. I fiddled anxiously with the clasp on my watch.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Right.

“Do you come to New York for business often?” George inquired, without looking up. What he’d just asked was an olive branch—so I was grateful. Even if it hadn’t been what I was hoping he’d say.

What Ineededhim to say.

“I’ll be there again next month. I could take a few extra days…you know, ifyouwere available.” This was something, wasn’t it? The safe route.

“I’ll add it to my calendar,” George said. “We’re…friends, aren’t we?” The question was so devastating it tore my heart in half.

“Yes.” I barely recognized my own voice. “We’re friends.”

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