Page 227 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions

That was…that was enough.

Right?

I was nearly home by the time I finally realized what a colossally bad decision letting George enter that airport alone had been. He hadn’t looked back. I knew, because I’d watched him until his tall silhouette disappeared inside the building.

Numb, I didn’t move for a long time.

My bare wrist hung at my side.

I let the space that George was supposed to occupy echo. He should have been with me. We should have been laughing. We should be sharing rain-soakedreunions, not…goodbyes.

I should be hugging him, recharging—after how goddamn long today had been.

But instead…I left.

Thoughts swimming. Chest tight. That horrible ache growing as every George-less minute passed by.

I’d driven out of the terminal, confused.

Upset.

Attempting to rationalize my irrational behavior despite how impossible an endeavor that was. I knew I was trying to protect myself, like I always had. But it didn’t feel like it was working.

And the walls that I’d built to keep me safe now felt like a prison.

Trapped by my own fears. Trapped by my own insecurities. The walls closing in on me, showing me in startling, devastating clarity how very alone I was.

And it was my fault.

It was always my fault.

Wasn’t it?

I’d built this cage brick by brick. Shut everyone out. And it wasn’t until I’d met George that I realized how fucking miserable I’d made myself.

June was right.

Fuck, I’d been saying that a lot lately.

But it was true.

She’d said, “You look happy, Alex.” She’d said, “For how long?”

And I’d—fuck.

I’d blown her off. Said she was drunk. Played her words off like they weren’t an omen. Like she wasn’t looking into the goddamn future.

But she had been.

She’d predicted this.

She’d tried to help.

Just like Dad had tried to help, telling me, “You carry too much, Alex. Let someone else help. Jesus. You know we all want to.”

And I’d blown him off too.

Hadn’t believed either of them. Hadn’t listened. Had thrown up more walls—and more walls—and more?—

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