Page 84 of Cloudy With a Chance of Bad Decisions

Distantly, I recognized it as one of the ones my dad had taught me about when we’d gone camping when I was younger. He’d called it…a northern water snake? Or something like that. Said it was non-venomous, even though the bands on its body often tricked people into thinking otherwise.

They liked to sun themselves on rocks. We’d seen a few before—and I was sure that was where this one was headed. Right to the stone that I was headed toward.

I froze.

Even my lungs stopped working.

For a moment, I might have even blacked out.

“George!” Alex called, keeping his tone even for my sake. The smooth timber of his voice should’ve soothed me but instead, it just proved that I wasnot, in fact, seeing things. There really was a snake blocking my path. The exact creature I’d been terrified I’d encounter.

And there it was.

I had to go back.

There was no way in hell I was going forward.

But I couldn’t seem to get myself to move.

The tinkling of the creek did nothing to distract me from the danger ahead.I need to go back. I had to. I had to, I had to, IhadtoIhadto.

Realistically I knew that snakes weren’t evil. They were animals, just like cats or dogs or even birds. Not nefarious. Hell, some people even kept them as pets, willingly. I knew all of this—but that didn’t change the way my body reacted.

“What’s going on?” Joe called, giant himbo that he was. “Why isn’t he moving?” This was directed to Alex, or Roderick? I wasn’t sure who. Without waiting for a response, he shouted, “Why aren’t you moving, George?”

I couldn’t answer.

My words were as frozen as my body was.

I couldn’t stop watching the snake with naked fear.

Alex said something, but I didn’t catch it, my gaze caught on the wiggly creature that had just innocently made its way up onto the rock itself.

Slither, slither, slither.

“Jesus Christ,” I gasped.

“Georgie!” Alex’s voice was louder now, but I didn’t turn to look, entranced by my would-be assassin. He was pretty, I could admit that. All shiny, water-dotted scales. “You’re okay, baby. He can’t reach you. You just need to go back the way you came, okay? It’s going to be fine.”

Right. Alex was my snake-champion.

My woodland protector.

He’d get me out of this mess.

He’dpromised.

Except—what had he said? That I needed to…I needed to holler? I couldn’t holler. I couldn’t—I?—

“It’s alright.” I must’ve breathed or something equally alarming because Alex sounded relieved. “Just breathe, sweet pea. In and out. Remember our promise?” I nodded jerkily. “I got you.”

He kept saying that.

It was like his catch phrase.

And I believed him every fucking time.

The rest of the crowd faded away, my brother included. There was only Alex’s disembodied voice, the snake, and me. The snake simply stayed where it was, innocently existing on the rock like it didn’t plan to attack at all.

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