Page 12 of Hell's Kitten

I might have promised to swear off men for the foreseeable future. But I’d have to have a heart of stone to ignore how utterly compassionate that is. Kindness is a rare attribute these days, sadly. I find it very attractive.

That’s on top of the man himself with his muscles and tattoos and sparkling hazel eyes.

And now we’re going to be living together. I have literally no idea for how long.

How am I going to stop myself from falling head over heels for this guy?

CHAPTER 6

Nim

Apparently,I have completely lost my mind.

The reason we’re in this mess is because my brain blue-screened and, in an effort to stay away from this precious kitten, I told him the cold hard fact that we weren’t hiring. Thanks to my ogre-like behavior, said kitten is nowliving with me.

There is no possible way this won’t end in disaster.

As I set the last of his things down in my spare room, I take a second to breathe deeply, trying to get some much-needed oxygen to my brain. I also pinch my nose for good measure, hoping some kind of clarity is going to come to me.

The only thing I understand right now is how fucked I am.

If I think properly on it, though, it’s fine. It might be hell for me, but I am never, ever going to cross any lines with him. He’d never be interested in me like that anyway, I’m sure. He’s just had his heart broken by a douchebag, and when he’s ready to start dating again, it’ll be with someone he meets at college or something. Someone who’ll be his own age—that’s my point. Most people don’t like a big age gap.

Most people don’t want to be Daddied. Certainly not the way I do it, apparently.

Brent’s parting remarks still sting, even after three years. You don’t get called a patronizing, emotionally stunted robot and forget it in a hurry. He wasn’t wrong, I guess. I’m no good with people, let alone as a boyfriend. Words don’t come naturally to me. I thought he wanted me to take care of him, but it seems I just ended up smothering him.

Paddle Creek was supposed to be a fresh start. For the most part, it has been. I needed to get away from the home I built with Brent and back to the people I called family. I had to give to the community again, even if I can only bear to skirt on the edges myself. Because otherwise, when my time comes, I don’t want to reminisce on my life and wonder if I ever even lived it.

I take another breath. So that’s all I’m doing with Jessie. I’m paying a kindness forward that I never had when I was first out on my ass and all alone.

Being kicked out by your family after they realize you’re gay is such a cliché, but it’s heartbreaking how much it still happens, even today. Back in the late nineties, it was pretty common. My dad didn’t think twice about chasing me from the house with a baseball bat. My mom at least grabbed me some clothes and all the cash she had in her purse, but I still never saw or heard from her again.

I know my nana would have taken me in, but she passed the year before. My memories of her still shine brightly, though. That’s why when I opened my own business, I poured so much of her into it. She always had a soft spot for the neighborhood cats, too.

Life wasroughfor a while. I went into foster care for a bit and bounced around shelters. I dropped out of school so I could work a couple of menial jobs, but I spent more than my fair share of nights sleeping on the streets. I’m perfectly well aware that’s why I love cats so much. During that time, they were theonly creatures who showed me any real affection. They certainly didn’t judge me.

Eventually, I saved up enough for a crappy room to call my own and, more importantly, my first bike. It was only an old Suzuki, but it gave me the kind of freedom I’d never had in my life. When I was introduced to the Cardinals in Indianapolis, they probably never really understood how they brought me back from the brink.

They gave me stability and purpose, enough that I was able to go to night school and get not only my GED but also complete a course in business and accounting. They pointed me in the direction of Paddle Creek when Brent left and I needed a fresh start. Without them, I never could have opened Toe Beans.

More than that, though, they gave me a family and a community. Which is why the sheriff coming and asking questions at O’Toole’s irked me so much. Nobody messes with my family, not now I’m big enough to fight back. I just hope that nuisance call was a one-time thing.

That’s all to say if I can pay even a fraction of my debt to them forward with Jessie, then my karma that Leah is always warning me about will be even. That’s why I’m going out of my way to help him like this.

No other reason.

He doesn’t have much stuff, but it’ll be nice to see this room being used for once. I’ve offered it to people, but as everyone I know lives locally, there’s never been a need for it. Until now.

I wonder how long he’ll want to stay—or need to. On the drive over, he mentioned that he’s applied for accommodation at the college, but there’s a waiting list. I can’t help but think that’s a waste of money, though. He said it had taken him until now to even get to college. The way he talked about his mom I sense there’s a story lurking not too far beneath the surface.

I’ve always had a keen eye for those in need of a little TLC. Speaking of which, I check in on the sleeping kitten still in my pocket. He wasn’t bothered by all the moving of boxes or traveling in the car. Wherever he ends up calling home, I know he’s going to be bombproof.

But that little kitten in my living room? I’m not so sure. The way his shoulders were shaking on that park bench broke my heart. He’s one bit of bad luck away from his ninth life, and I’ll be damned if I’m the reason that happens.

Even if I can’t be his Daddy, I can be strong for him. I can ease his burdens and keep him safe. That’s what Daddying is all about. I don’t need the physical side of things.

Well, I’d like that, but I can’t have it. So there’s no sense in stressing over it.

---