Page 57 of Hell's Kitten

“Kitten,” I say, using my firm Daddy voice.

He sighs again and lifts his head to look at me. His eyes are red-rimmed either from the hangover or…or he’s been crying that much.

“I had to quit the team.”

Of all the things I was expecting him to say, that was not on the list. “What?” I cry. “Why?”

He shrugs and looks away. My heart is racing. I don’t understand. Cheerleading is hislife.

“They made you leave?” I try again.

“It was what was best for the team,” he says hollowly.

“How?” I demand. “Jessie, what’s going on?”

He nibbles his lip and gives me a shifty look. “Promise you won’t freak out?”

What kind of a question is that? We are so far past freaking out already. “No.”

He huffs. “Nim, I’m serious! This is just something that’s happened, and it’s not…it’s not your fault, okay?”

Ice rushes through my veins. My fault? “What happened?” I press again, my throat tight and my skin hot. Perhaps that’s why he said ‘your’ home and not ‘our’? He already knows I’ve fucked him over and that I can’t protect or provide for him. I made a promise, and I broke it.

This is why he’s so upset.

Whatever’s happenedismy fault.

A tear tumbles down his cheek, and I immediately brush it away with my thumb.Fuck.I love him so much. Leah’s right. I should tell him. But if I’ve hurt him this badly, then do I really have that right in this moment?

He takes a shuddery breath, looking utterly wretched. “Competitions have these moral codes to promote healthy, happy lifestyles, blah blah blah. As long as you’re not a dick about it, people don’t really care. But if the cheerleading organizations are informed about a team breaking the rules, they’re legally obliged to deal with it.”

“What kinds of rules?” I ask, dread sitting heavily on my chest.

I already know what he’s going to say.

“Someone told Cheer First that…that I’m in a violent gang and involved with drugs.”

All the blood drains from my head. If I wasn’t sitting down then I would have been very abruptly. “Thisismy fault,” I utter.

“No, Nim, please,” Jessie says, waving his hands. “It’s really not. They say this guy has given a witness statement from back home. He’s telling them I bought drugs, and it’s basically true, but it’s not what you think, I swear! It was for my mom! The other stuff is just bullshit like we know it is for you and Candy and everyone else. Tara’s boyfriend was there, and I think maybe he has something to do with the mayor. It’s just stupid smear politics and propaganda and all that. Nim, are you listening to me?”

I’m really not.

They’ve gone after Jessie to punish me. To make sure I understand it’s not just me who’s fucked—like I wasn’t already aware of that anyway. This is the dream that’s been fueling him through all the harrowing years his mom fought against cancer. It’s in his blood, who he is.

And those bastards have taken it away.

Not on my watch.

I promised I would do everything in my power to protect him and do what’s right for him.

Even if that breaks my heart.

“You’re not in any gang,” I say, untangling myself from him. He reaches for me, but I stand up, folding my arms and leaning against a nearby table. “They can’t kick you out.”

“Technically, I quit,” Jessie says hotly. “You’re not listening. That’s not the point. The weed thingistrue. I refuse to drag the whole team down. It was a choice I made, and I can’t take it back. It’s not fair, but I’m not going to destroy the whole cheerleading program just because of that!”

I shake my head. “It’s my fault. If you distance yourself from me, you can go back and tell them it was all a misunderstanding. They’ll have to take you back.”

---