Page 1 of Make Believe

CHAPTER 1

Kadence

“Remindme again why we’re here?”

I try not to whine. That’s never a cute look. But as frat parties go, this is looking horribly straight from the outside. I can see a lot of football players and…you know…dudes.

My bestie, Jessie, chuckles and rubs my back. “Come on,” he encourages me. “School’s almost out for the summer, you’ve basically graduated, and we promised we’d go to as many of these things as possible as a bon voyage. I think the whole cheer squad is here. We’ll have fun, I promise.”

I tut and roll my eyes but allow myself to be ushered up the steps of the Alpha Zeta Kappa frat house. Jessie had a bit of a rocky start to his time with the Paddle Creek Kittens, and he has three more years of college yet with a lot of these people. If it’s important to him, I’ll make the effort.

But no one better try and talk sportsball at me. I am fully prepared to fake my death if necessary.

I met Jessie in his first semester because I make it a habit to seek out and befriend cute, kinky queers. I might be more or less done with college, but I’ll be sticking around this tiny town for now at least because these people are my family.

They’re the only family I’ve got.

I shake myself and take a second to remember that my sister isn’t actually the worst human being. We just have very little in common, and for the last couple of years, she’s been off wandering the earth, chasing her happiness in a different way. She’s got yoga on a beach. I’ve got dick and tequila.

To each their own.

Mercifully, Jessie knows to grab my hand and pull us through the busy house directly to the kitchen to get our refreshment on. Waiting there is the tall, slim, and blond form of one of my other best friends I’ve made this year. I’m happier leaving campus knowing that Harper and Jessie will both still be studying together.

Selfishly, however, I know a little space from them is also necessary for my sanity. Don’t get me wrong—I’m thrilled that they’ve both found their dream Daddies. Harper technically hasthreeguys who Dom him in different ways, lucky bitch. But there are times when I find it hard to see just how sappy the two of them get.

Love is fine for other people. But there’s only so much I can have it shoved down my throat. I don’t do emotions. At least not deep and meaningful ones. Does snarky count as an emotion? I can do that plenty.

“Don’t you both look fabulous?” Harper comments, already waiting with two cups of punch to thrust into our hands. I sniff it and he grins. “Don’t worry. I already tested it. It’s got a kick, but it’s not going to erase that degree you just earned from your brain.”

We laugh and tap our cups together in a toast. “To Kadence,” Jessie says brightly.

I love how he’ll often wear his kitten ear headbands out in public now, unafraid to show a bit of his true nature to the world at large. My kinky side is so completely separate from the rest of my life I’d never think of doing anything like that. But I stilllook pretty fucking gay in my tight leather pants and shimmery tank. Jessie’s got a cute crop top on and denim shorts along with his ears, whereas Harper looks a little more sophisticated in a button-down open over a T-shirt. We’re a bit of an eclectic bunch, but I feel nothing but warmth as we all drink together.

By the time I’m on my second cup, I start to think that maybe this party won’t be so bad after all. Sometimes, I forget just how many of the football players are in fact gay, thanks to Coach Drevin being so out and proud. Consequently, a lot of the cheerleaders are also queer, and even a few of the basketball players.

It’s kind of staggering to think about the knock-on effect Drevin has had on this small, kind of crappy town. It’s most likely why he was able to get the job in the first place. I bet bigger colleges and universities balked at the idea of an out gay coach. But Paddle Creek isn’t exactly renowned for anything much at all, so the dean was probably stoked to have someone of such caliber step up to the plate.

Because Drevin isgood.Suddenly, the Paddle Creek Panthers were winning not just games but championships, and gay players were coming from all over the country to play for the town. There’s a lot of boarded-up real estate around here, but the businesses that are open are more often than not run by people from the LGBT-plus community. Even the local biker gang is a rainbow-centric chapter, encouraging more and more like-minded people here.

Hence giving the town such a high quality of life score when it comes to being queer. When I moved out of my parents’ house, my only concern was to get as far away as possible. Paddle Creek looked both welcoming and cheap, so I packed my bags and never looked back.

As I dance in the living room with my friends to an old Shakira song, I grin over the lip of my Solo cup and let mygaze travel across the room. I might be a cynical motherfucker, but even I can admit that I’ve grown fond of this place and the (sometimes slightly odd) people who live here. I’m glad I’ve got myself a small apartment lined up to live with another friend and an entry-level office job to pay for it. I’m sure I’ll be bored out of my skull, but it’ll be worth it to know that I’m safe and welcomed everywhere I go.

Almost everywhere.

“Warning,” Harper grumbles, glaring over my shoulder. “Trouble at twelve o’clock.”

Jessie and I turn our heads to see what he’s talking about. Jessie grunts in exasperation and rolls his eyes. Whereas my heart does that weird flip-flop thing it always does when I see Logan McKenna out in the wild.

The problem with incredibly good-looking closeted guys is that they’re like god-damned catnip to me. No strings attached, and all that pent-up frustration? Sign me the fuck up.

It took little to no time at all to lure him into bed, and the secret sex has been addictive. There was never any chance of catching feels because—quite frankly—he’s a dick. Not just to other people, but to himself. Internalized homophobia is toxic, and I’m not interested in being around that any longer than it takes to come my brains out.

And that’s fine. I swore I’d never let anyone else get close to my heart and I mean it. The one person I trusted with it left it slashed in tatters. No one’s ever going to hurt me like that again.

So I don’t care that Logan has his girlfriend hanging on his arm. I’d feel sorry for her, but Tara Sherman is just plain mean and deserves a little karma coming her way. I’m not jealous of her, though. I don’t wish I was the one dating Logan McKenna.

But try as I might, I’m not some hollow, emotionless creature. I’ve let that man inside my body on numerous occasions, and yet when our paths cross in public, he makesa point of sneering at me. Even laughing at me. If there’s one person I’d be keen to avoid now that I’ve graduated, it’ll be him. I told him as much the last time we hooked up.

---