Page 27 of Make Believe

To my surprise—again—he settles quite happily on the chaise lounge and begins to read my dog-eared novel, totally engrossed by a few pages in. I’m distracted by his presence for a while, but then I also fall back into my task. We spend a couple of quiet, happy hours in the study until I look up and realize my doll has fallen asleep.

My heart aches for him.

Not wanting to analyze the feeling too closely, I wrap up my job, putting the last of the books in their new homes. Then I gently ease the thriller from Kadence’s grasp, pleased he doesn’t seem to have lost his place. I slip a bookmark between the pages just to make sure and leave the book on the coffee table next to the couch.

Kadence is heavy, but I manage to pick him up in a bridal carry. In his sleepy state, he still wraps his arms around my neck and holds some of his own weight, which makes my job easier.

I relocate us to the living room. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t eat in here. But fuck it, I’m on vacation. I ensure my doll is all snuggled against the pillows, and drape a blanket over him. Then I stroll into the kitchen and get us some charcuterie bits to graze on. Me for now, and him for later when he wakes. I also pour some juice,but as it’s mid-afternoon and a Saturday, I throw caution to the wind even more and also open up a bottle of light and fruity white wine.

Putting on a movie in the middle of the day reminds me of the days my son was sick as a child. It feels entirely decadent, and I love it. As Kadence is still dozing, I take it upon myself to pick an old action thriller from the nineties where the hero races across the globe to stop nuclear war. It’s familiar and comforting. The young man sleeping against me might beunfamiliar, but he certainly is comforting. This whole set-up feels so natural with him.

I wonder at his tiredness. His exhaustion. I wonder what he has going on in his life that he needs to escape into being a doll like he does.

I wonder what I can do to help.

That feels dangerous, however. So I console myself that I’m here, now, and that’s good enough for the time being.

Try as I might, I’m finding it difficult to keep my hands to myself. I’ve got a new toy, after all. I’m excited to play with him.

And who could blame me? My doll really is perfect in every way, just begging for his Daddy to wake him up and have some fun.

The only problem is that he starts to wake up first.

And he’s not okay.

CHAPTER 11

Kadence

I really didn’t meanto fall asleep. There’s just something about this man that makes me drop my guard.

That’s dangerous.

I’m aware that at some point we move locations. I moan and try to make myself wake up, but Rafferty shushes me and tells me to go back to sleep. So I do.

I wish I could say that my dreams were peaceful, but I don’t think they are. It’s like sifting through sand, trying to remember anything, but I know I’m distressed and trying to scream at someone, but no sound is coming out.

“No,” I mumble.

“Wake up, pretty doll. You’re having a bad dream.”

“No,” I utter once more, feeling myself fight and frown.

But there’s a strong hand on me, running up my bare leg and skimming my tummy. Oh, yeah. I’m not wearing any underwear. I’m with Rafferty. I’m…I’m supposed to be tricking him…

“Shhh, Kiki,” he says. His voice is soothing, but there’s also something firm and no nonsense about it. I find that comforting. Sometimes, especially when I’m spirally and at my worst, I just want someone to tell me what todo.

“Daddy,” I whimper. If I were more conscious, I’d probably feel pathetic. But I’m still half-asleep, and all I can really focus on is the touch of his hand and the low rumble of his voice.

“Shh, Kiki,” he repeats. “It’s okay. Daddy’s here. Be a doll. Just be a doll.”

That, I can do. I can be Kiki. Kiki doesn’t have any cares in the world apart from being perfect for Daddy. Kiki can relax. Daddy will take care of Kiki.

Gradually, I let the tension seep from my body. The bad dreams fade away. I remember that I had them, but not what they were about. Daddy Rafferty massages my hip, thigh, and side, hugging me to him. I realize that the TV is on, playing some old movie. Daddy is watching it. I’m just an accessory, something to comfort him as he relaxes.

I switch off, giving myself over to him and his wishes.

That’s when his hand drifts over my stomach, heading south, skimming my inner thighs, casually pushing my legs apart.

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