Page 45 of Make Believe

To be honest, it is a relief that he’s taking that particular card off the table right now. It would be a big step for me to have sex with a woman, and he’s already experiencing so many new things already. I want to ask if this is his first party with someone. Stanley and I did a number of public scenes. I think back to my and Rafferty’s first night, but that was different. We were strangers then. Now we care about each other, no matter how much we’re trying to deny it.

It’s not the sex that causes jealousy, in my experience. Sometimes with Stanley it would be fine, and we’d have a lot of fun. But there were times when he made me feel like shit…like when he wandered off or just flat out ignored me.

It was thelackof jealousy on his part that was the problem. I can see that now.

Suddenly, I worry I’ve gotten in over my head. I’m confused within myself about what I want. I’m okay to be passed around, but I want my Daddy to still want me. Is that fair? Are we there yet in our ‘relationship’? We’re not a couple, after all. What if Rafferty sees another pretty boy he likes and wants to go off and fuck him, leaving me alone? How’s that going to make me feel? What if…?

“Hey, hey,” Rafferty murmurs in my ear, pulling me closer. “Kadence. What’s wrong? Do you need to leave?”

“I…uh…”

I look around, feeling like an idiot. Fuck. How can I really have been so mad at Logan for not understanding my needs? Don’t get me wrong. He was still a dick.

But I’m a mess.

Panic is clawing up my throat. However, Rafferty gently presses a kiss to my cheek, and it shocks me into gasping for air.

“Sweet boy,” he says softly. “Talk to me.”

For a minute, I just breathe. We’re by a wall, so enough out of the way not to be disturbed by anyone or really be noticed at all. After several deep breaths, the dizziness subsides. I’m ashamed that I cling to him, but I’ve been vulnerable so many times in front of him by this point. What’s one more humiliation?

“Just…just don’t leave me alone,” I say. That’s it, that’s all I need. I don’t want to spoil any of his fun. But we came here together, and I don’t want to feel abandoned.

His eyes go wide, and he flicks them back and forth over my face. “Of course I’m not going to leave you alone,” he says in a firm voice that sends a shiver over my exposed flesh. “You’remine,Kiki doll. I was hoping we could play with some other people, but if you need some privacy, you’ll have it. I’m also equally comfortable bending you over the nearest pieceof furniture and showing all these strangersexactlywho you belong to.”

My jaw drops, and my mouth goes dry, and he fixes me with a challenging stare. Like he’s almost daring me to tell him that I’m not his or that he doesn’t want me.

His words have jumbled up in my brain, and I’m not quite sure how to respond. “Y-yes, Daddy,” I tell him shakily.

His expression softens, and he cups the side of my face. “Yes, what, Kiki?”

I take another deep breath and repeat his words. “Yes, I’m yours, Daddy. We can play however you want. I just want to play together.”

He swallows as his gaze blazes into mine. “Good boy. I’m really proud of you for telling Daddy what you need, Kiki. I have no interest in leaving you to pursue anyone else. In fact, for tonight at least, the only person I want to fuck is my beautiful boy. If Kiki would enjoy being played with by some other men and pretty boys, I’d like to see how much you can take. I want to watch you be used, knowing that you belong to me and I control your pleasure. Your body is mine. I want to pass you around, knowing that it’smewho gets to take you home andonlyme.”

He licks his lips, having barely blinked the entire time he was speaking. He’s studying me for every single tiny reaction, I can just feel it. As a doll, I don’t emote at all if I can manage it. But I’m not quite there yet.

“What color does that make you feel?” he asks.

“Green,” I utter immediately. My body is vibrating, and my breathing is shallow. He gets it. Hegetsit.

It doesn’t matter what I do with whom because it will actually all be for him. My body is his to use however he likes,so long as he’s there.My enjoyment comes from knowing he’s being turned on. By the power he holds over me.

So long as he doesn’t cross over the line and abuse that power.

I feel my throat getting thick and my eyes stinging. As vulnerable as I’ve been with him, I don’t want to cross that line either. I definitely don’t want anyone else here to see me crying. But his deep, nuanced understanding of how I tick has unlocked something inside me.

“I love you, Daddy,” I say.

It’s one of Kiki’s pull-string phrases. It’s not real. But it goes some way to conveying how I’m feeling right now.

Rafferty opens and closes his mouth once before speaking. “So perfect,” he says, stroking my hair. I wonder if he also wanted to say something else but didn’t have the best words right now. “Okay. Do you need some time? Or shall we find a space to get settled and see if anyone catches our eye?”

I can’t help but adore the way he puts that. As if we’re a team with a unified goal rather than him being the one in charge and making all the calls. It makes me feel the opposite of abandoned.

“I’m ready to play, Daddy,” I assure him.

He gently caresses my cheekbone with his thumb. He knows not to rub too hard and smudge my make-up because he’s amazing.

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