Page 17 of From the Ashes

I glance at her, the urge to insist that I’m not good. I’m a selfish coward. But this moment isn’t about me and my past sins. It’s about celebrating Nevaeh Adams and what is hopefully going to be a long life ahead of her.

I hold up my now empty and folded wrapper. “Well, if she wants to grow up and be a chef, I’d say she’s off to a good start.”

That breaks the somber mood between us as we laugh again. I watch Elizabeth beam with pride as she watches her daughter hold her son’s hand, helping him balance at the bottom of a climbing wall.

“So Mr. Delacroix was able to pass some squashed ones on to you?” Elizabeth asks, then rolls her eyes. “Of course he did. Otherwise, how would you have gotten my number and been able to text me?”

“Ah, it’s cool,” I assure her. “You’ve got a lot on your mind. I forget what day of the week it is half the time. Today’s Thursday, right?”

She laughs loudly, then immediately covers her mouth, like she’s not used to making that much noise these days. But she’s still grinning when she lowers her hand, which makes me glad.

“Mr. Delacroix said you two went to school together,” Elizabeth prompts, selecting a cupcake for herself from the box. “Or rather his partner did. But it felt like you hadn’t seen each other in a while?” Then she immediately shakes her head. “Sorry, that’s probably personal.”

I shrug. It is, but she would have no way to know just how personal or complicated our history really is. Besides, I relish the chance to talk about Zahir to someone. It’s been killing me bottling everything up.

“No, it’s fine,” I assure her, debating whether to indulge in a second cake. “We did go to high school together. We used to be really good friends. But I moved away for college, and we lost touch. Nevaeh brought us back together. So in a way, she’smyguardian angel, too.”

Elizabeth blinks and gives me a warm smile. “Well isn’t that just wonderful? So you two are hanging out again?”

“Ah, not exactly,” I say with a wince.

I should just shut my mouth. This nice lady has been through enough. She doesn’t need to hear my problems as well. But she’s looking at me expectantly, like she’s got all the time in the world for me, and it’s as if I can’t help myself. I’ve never let myself talk to anyone about this, and it suddenly feels like if I don’t unburden myself, I might just combust.

“It’s been so long now, it feels awkward,” I say, grossly simplifying the situation. “And it was my fault we stopped talking. I got too wrapped up in my new life. But since I’ve moved back into town, I’d like it if we could be friends again. I’m just not sure how to extend that olive branch. I’d do anything to make it right again between us, but I hurt him. I’m not sure if he’d want that or I even deserve to be given a second chance.”

I didn’t really mean to add that last part, and heat creeps up my neck as I wonder if I’ve said too much. I meant to make itseem like we were just friends. Maybe best friends but not…not boyfriends. That feels too dangerous to admit out loud.

But Elizabeth is looking animated, and she reaches out to grip my hand with hers. “We could take the pressure off and organize something more casual. Then you could test the waters and see where you stand.”

“We?” I repeat in amusement. From the mischievous sparkle in her eyes, I feel like I’ve gotten myself a co-conspirator.

As if to prove my point, she grins and nods. “The kids and I were planning on going back to the beach soon—maybe tomorrow even. I don’t want Nevaeh to become afraid of it. I was thinking of making a picnic, so why don’t I reach out and see if both the paramedics wanted to swing by and assure my baby girl that the water isn’t anything to be scared of.” She quirks an eyebrow. “And if you just happened to be with us, maybe you could talk to your old friend then?”

For a second, I just stare at her, a dopey smile on my face. “You’d really do that for me?” She nods and I shake my head. “Are you sureyou’renot the lawyer? That’s pretty cunning.”

She shrugs. “If the last couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that you never know when life can take an unexpected turn. If you need help reconnecting with your friend, I’d be delighted to help facilitate that. It’s important to seize the day in case tomorrow takes the opportunity away from you.”

Her words are somber. However, she’s still smiling. I take a breath and puff out my cheeks, feeling torn.

Zahir was damned clear he didn’t want to see me again. But…it’s not a big town. The chances of us running into each other are high. Maybe if Elizabeth and her family are there as well as his colleague, he might not immediately storm off and give me a chance to properly apologize. That’s all I want. To tell him once and for all that I know I was an asshole and never should have treated him the way I did.

Elizabeth squeezes my hand. “He’s important to you, isn’t he? Even if you haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“Yeah,” I croak out, embarrassed at how my voice catches with emotion.

I don’t know what she might infer from that. Thirty-three years in the closet and I’m inches away from coming out to a near stranger. But if Elizabeth guesses anything, she doesn’t say so.

“That’s settled, then,” she says, waving at her kids who are paused at the top of the slide. “I’ll find out when he’s free, then we’ll plan a picnic.”

“This is slightly diabolical,” I say with a chuckle. “But, sure. Why not?”

“Life’s too short for regrets, Colt,” she tells me seriously. “That’s ‘why not.’ Now, do either of you have any dietary restrictions I should know about?”

Her no-nonsense mom style is like a much-needed hug. Very different to my own mother. I’m helpless against Elizabeth and her scheming.

So, okay, this is slightly manipulative. But if I just sit on my ass then nothing will get resolved. It’s not like I’m going to beg Zahir to forgive me or even see me again.

I would never dream that he’d want to take me back.

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