Page 57 of The Devil's Embrace

The doctor chuckled. “Don’t look so forlorn, baby. I only mean we won’t be playing that hard tonight. There’s a lot going on for both of us, and I wasn’t supposed to come here. I only did so we could take the edge off, so to speak.”

“What does that even mean?” He couldn’t help the way his spine straightened. “Are you not going to fuck me?”

Aodhan gave a shocked laugh. “You’re cute when you’re dirty and blunt, Detective. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you get yours before I leave. And,” he reached down and undid his belt,sliding the leather suggestively through the metal buckle, “I’ll make sure you get it the way you like.”

Cal’s eyes stared at the belt as the doctor wrapped one end around his hand, hating the small prick of disappointment when it was the side the buckle was on.

He didn’t want to be beaten to death or anything like that. Wasn’t keen on the idea of broken bones or any long-term or permanent damage—aside from the occasional discreetly placed scar, of course. But Aodhan was right; he was stressed and feeling anxious over everything that was going on, and Calix could really use a release.

“Something is seriously wrong with me,” he murmured, only to have the doctor snap the belt in the air.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Cal,” he growled, losing some of his patience. “Now, go to the coffee table and bend over. If I have to whip self-acceptance into you, I will, and I’ll enjoy every moment doing it, too. Want to tell me there’s something wrong with me as well?”

“No, I wouldn’t do that.”

Aodhan stared at him with an enigmatic expression and then shook his head. “You’ve got terrible instincts for such a good detective, Detective.”

Cal bristled, but before he could come up with a reply, Aodhan pointed to the living room area.

“Go.” He took a threatening step closer and that, along with the sexy authoritative way he spoke the single command, was enough to get Cal into motion.

Calix stopped at the end of the coffee table, glad he’d left it mostly clear aside from the remote, and then lowered himself until his palms were flat against the smooth, polished surface. From between his parted thighs, he could see Aodhan’s lower half as he approached, and his breath hitched.

“Embarrassed, Cal?” Aodhan asked. “I can see everything from this position. Everything you have to offer. Everything you have to take. You mentioned the nurses earlier? What about you? How do you think Bruce or Troya would react if I told them you’re a natural born sub who likes to ride my cock while I make you bleed for me?”

He winced and squeezed his eyes shut against the image. “They can never know.”

“Why? Worried they’ll judge you the same way Sister Grace used to?”

She’d only caught him the once, when he’d been sixteen and most of the other kids had been asleep. Most, but not all. Cal had gotten up to use the bathroom and overheard Felix and Bella fooling around in one of the stalls in the girls' room.

He’d listened for a bit even though he knew he shouldn’t have. At that age, his experience with sex was limited, and Felix and Bella were both older than him at eighteen. She’d pleaded with him to stop.

Cal, thinking she was being hurt against her will, had barged in there and yanked Felix away.

Only to be told in no uncertain terms by both of them that he was out of line and she was into it. Bella had explained in a rush of jumbled terms and phrases that he’d only partially been able to process what consensual nonconsent was, how some people liked to pretend to be forced to do sexual acts.

Even though he’d been trying to do the right thing, Calix had left them that night feeling like the one who needed to be embarrassed. The next day, using the school computers in the library, he’d searched CNC up.

That’s when the idea was planted. For weeks, all he could think about was the desperate sound of Bella’s voice, how scared she’d seemed.

How it hadn’t been real.

His research had introduced him to other aspects of kink play he hadn’t been aware of, like that some people enjoyed hurting or being hurt during the act. He’d been whipped dozens of times by that point in his life, and he couldn’t fully process how anyone could find that a turn-on. But he was curious enough to want to see if a fresh perspective and a new mindset could allow him to.

At first, it’d been mostly because he’d wanted an escape from the pain of the beatings. The idea of being able to turn that horrible sensation into a pleasurable one had been appealing. He’d stepped out of line more frequently at the orphanage, pretended to be remorseful and forlorn when Sister Grace called him into her office and took out the cane.

It took more than a few attempts, but eventually, Cal figured it out. He thought about the grunts and groans Felix had made in that bathroom, the scared ring in Bella’s voice. He imagined it was Felix behind him instead of Sister Grace, beating him not to hurt him, but to get him ready for what was to come. To get him ready to take his cock.

Calix already knew he didn’t have a preference when it came to gender at that point, so it wasn’t really a shock when it’d been Felix that came to mind and not Bella, though, he’d thought at first he’d like to be the one delivering the punishments instead of the other way around, as a change of pace from reality. That simply just wasn’t the case.

He’d been wrong about something else, too, or, rather, he hadn’t had the foresight to think it all through.

Because the moment he got an erection while Sister Grace was tanning his hide was the moment he made things infinitely worse for himself. Before that, he was merely an unruly youth who needed sorting out. But after?

After he became a sinner.

“Good boys don’t dishonor Light by giving in to morbid appetites,” he repeated the words she’d spoken to him then frowned, recalling where he was and the man he was with. “Did I…mention her before?”

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